Regaining Trust
by Cuteloopie2
Summary: It's been 25 years after Edward left Bella. Now that the Cullens have reunited with Bella they are suprised to find that she is not running back into their open arms. Instead Bella tells them her story of how her life took a tragic turn after they left.
1. Visitor

Authors Note: Hello all! This story was originally called The Future of Histor_y_. I have decided to rewrite it and change a few major details. The first couple of chapters are the same but it goes in a completely different direction after that.

Thank you for sticking with me.

And a big thanks to my beta Twilightzoner.

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things _Twilight._

Visitor:

Walking to work this morning, I let my mind wander ahead to the activities waiting for me. Unlike most people, I absolutely love my job. The anticipation of getting to work quickened my pace slightly. Taking in my surroundings, I felt the wind glide through my hair, causing a frown to appear on my face. I didn't particularly like the wind because of its unpredictability. Grimacing, I reached up and tightened the bun in my hair so the wind wouldn't cause anymore stray pieces of hair to float over my face. After another block, I watched as the city library came into my peripheral vision.

No matter how many days I came here for work, the building never ceased to amaze me by its beautiful architecture. I slowed my pace so I could allow my eyes to roam over the building, taking in every small detail. The grand presence that the building emitted made the surrounding buildings look somewhat shabby. The irony was that the library was quite easily the oldest building on this block; however, it outshone every building around it. An involuntary smile appeared on my lips as I pulled back the grand doors and slowly entered the building.

Taking a deep breath, I smiled even wider as I absorbed my favorite smell of old books and dust. Releasing my breath, I turned toward the enormous staircase so I could go up to my office. As I lifted my foot for the first step, someone cleared their throat loudly behind me. Already knowing who it was, I felt a genuine smile making its way to my face, although I tried to scowl before turning around.

"You know, I think you should just move into your office so you don't have to even leave for the three hours that you do manage to make it home," said a gruff voice.

"Oh Arnie," I said with my pretend scowl. "Are you trying to subtly tell me that I'm a workaholic?"

"I didn't think I was being too subtle," he grinned.

Arnie is my favorite person in this entire building. He is a 64 year old security guard who has one of the kindest hearts I've been around in a long time. Smiling, I take in Arnie's appearance as I do every morning. He's about five foot ten with curly, mostly grey hair with a few stubborn black hairs thrown in. His eyes are the color of golden toffee, while his skin is only a few shades darker than his eyes. His face is lined with laughter, wisdom and love.

"You know you manage to get here even earlier than I do," I said with a smile, already knowing what his response would be.

"It's my job to be here this early. You, on the other hand, have the luxury of another four or five hours before you have to come in," he said with twinkling eyes.

"Well you caught me. I came here solely for your company," I laughed, while taking in his reaction.

His eyes shone bright with fierce appreciation for my words. I would say anything to bring that smile on his face.

"I'll see you in a while, Arnie," I said with a smile as I turned and started back up the stairs.

"Have a good one," he called after me.

Once I reached the top of the staircase, I allowed my eyes to wander to the paintings that lined the hallway. Every morning I made sure to look at each picture to see if I could pick up details that I hadn't seen before.

"Good morning," said a curt voice.

I wanted to roll my eyes as I plastered a polite smile on my face and turned to greet one of the people that I tried to avoid.

Karen had worked here about seven years longer than I had. Once I became a member of this staff, I quickly excelled because of my passion and endurance for our massive historical collection. Once I proved my dedication to my job, I quickly got promoted, and was now in a position higher than Karen. She has always resented me for it. Not that I really blame her, but I just don't feel like making small talk with a woman who obviously does not like me.

"Good morning, Karen," I replied in a tone matching hers.

As she did every morning, she allowed her eyes to roam over my appearance as if she were a predator. I quickly came to the conclusion that this tactic was meant for me to feel intimidated by her presence. I sighed; no one can intimidate me anymore.

"You're here early," she said in a cutting tone. "Trying to get that promotion? I heard that Betty is finally retiring, and I know you're trying to make sure you're considered."

I took a deep breath, trying to hold in a flash of anger that I felt, then quickly smoothed my face clean of any type of emotion.

"I don't have an ulterior motive for coming to work early. I simply enjoy my job," I replied in a bored tone.

As she opened her mouth to retort, I quickly cut her off, saying that I had to get to my office. I knew she wouldn't be happy about not getting the last word, but I really didn't feel like soothing her bruised ego.

Once I got to my office, my smile reappeared on my face. I absolutely loved my office. It wasn't anything necessarily fancy, but it was my own personal space. I took in a deep breath, smelling the wood from my desk and the papers and books that were on my shelves. Sinking into the soft leather chair, I felt relieved to get back to my research.

My job basically entailed me finding out anything I could about basically anything historical. I loved history for many reasons. I find history to be soothing. I hungrily read books, the older the better, looking forward to the endings that I know are inevitable. There are no surprises when it comes to history. No spontaneity. It has already happened; it's already set in stone. I got a sense of completion every time I found out something new about history.

Hours passed as I worked at my steady tempo, and I was so engrossed in my work that I barely noticed the light tap at my door.

"Come in," I mumbled, slightly annoyed at whoever was interrupting. Keeping my eyes down on my book, I heard the door slowly open.

Even before I looked up and heard the small intake of breath, I knew who was standing there.

"Bella?" a soft, beautiful soprano voice spoke hesitantly.

I raised my gaze slowly into the pair of beautiful topaz eyes that I hadn't seen in years and watched as several emotions appeared in those eyes. Shock, hurt, disbelief, more shock and finally confusion.

"Hello Alice," I said quietly, pushing aside my inner turmoil and attempting to put a smile on my face.

End notes: I'd love to know what you think.


	2. Grace

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

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Chapter 1: Grace

"Bella?" the voice repeated in a shocked, but quiet tone.

"Alice, please shut the door if you would like to speak," I said just as quietly.

"Bella? What happened? I don't understand," she said, as her voice steadily increased.

I glanced around Alice and stared pointedly at the door. I sighed. "Alice…the door?"

"Oh," she said, as she quickly closed the door behind her.

We stared at each other in awkward silence for a few seconds.

"Please have a seat," I said cordially.

As graceful as ever, Alice made her way to the seat opposite my desk. The chair basically swallowed up her small frame.

"Bel-"

"Alice, I have to ask you to stop calling me that, please," I tried to say without irritation. If we were going to have any type of conversation, that name would have to stop being said immediately. I felt the familiar hole opening in my chest.

"What do you mean? That's your name! Why would I not call you Bella?" Her words came out so fast that I knew she must be feeling some type of strong emotion.

"I no longer go by Bella. I am known here as Grace," I said, keeping my voice calm.

"Bella, please explain this to me, I'm confused, what happened-" she said in a rush before I interrupted her again.

"Alice, I must insist that you do _not_ call me Bella here. I really don't think this will be a productive conversation unless we can get that correct," I said firmly, marveling at my calm demeanor.

"Ok…_Grace_…tell me everything," she said with irritation.

My calm demeanor vanished. I felt anger surge through my body. Why should I explain anything to her? They left me! I took a deep breath and shook my head. I was disappointed in myself. I shouldn't allow myself to become completely unraveled by seeing one of the Cullens. I took a deep breath before launching into my speech.

"Alice, I have been living in this area for about three years as Grace Collins. I understand you may have some questions as to what happened to me and how I came to be living here. However, I must assure you that this is neither the time nor the place to discuss such matters," I said this very quickly, but I knew she would be able to understand.

Alice's eyes widened as I finished my speech. I guess she didn't expect our reunion to go this way.

I stood up slowly. "Now, if you would please excuse me, I have to get back to work," I said, as I motioned toward the stacks of papers and open books.

"Can we please talk?" Alice pleaded with desperation in her eyes.

My resolve wavered as I looked deep into the eyes of my old friend. Even though she hurt me, I could never cause her any kind of pain.

"We can talk, but it will not be now," I sighed.

Her eyes brightened minutely. "Of course, we have a house near this area, and we would _all_ love it if you could come by at your earliest convenience." She said this while jotting down an address, directions, and several phone numbers in an elegant script.

I took the paper from her hand when she completed finished writing and frowned.

"Bella, please just come and talk to us," she said with a touch of hurt in her eyes.

My eyes flashed angrily as I fought to keep my voice as low as a whisper. "Alice, this will be my last time saying this - I'm known as _Grace_. I will not tolerate being addressed as Bella in public, and I hope you will carry this message on to the rest of your family."

"Of course, please forgive me," she said in a polite but slightly hard voice.

I've never known Alice to speak with that tone of voice. Ignoring the slight change, I continued, "If it is okay, I will come over this Saturday night at 8:30."

This comment made the old Alice resurrect, "But it's only Thursday," she whined. "Why can't you just come over later today?"

I almost smiled. "Because I have obligations here," I stated.

I quickly crossed the room to open the door. Alice stood slowly and reluctantly turned toward the door.

"_Grace_, I'm so happy to see you I can't even begin to describe what this means to me," she said as her voice shook with emotion.

While her statement was kind, my rational mind acted instinctively and refused to believe any of her previous words. As she walked to the door, she raised her arms as if to embrace me. Seeing what she planned, I raised my arms up to defend myself.

"Please stop," I said quietly.

The amount of hurt in Alice's eyes was unbearable. It almost made me run across the room to embrace her tightly. Almost. My rational brain sneered at the possibility of hugging someone who hurt me so badly.

"I don't mean to be rude. I just need time to sort this out," I said, hoping to alleviate some of her hurt.

It didn't work. She looked at me sadly and nodded her head. As she walked toward the door, a question appeared in my mind.

"Alice? Why did you come here anyway? Did you actually need help with the historical reference section?"

She rolled her eyes then smiled. "I came here for you," she said simply.

Before I could get another word in she walked quickly out the door and closed it behind her. Finally, the significance of her visit became too much for me to handle. I walked back to my soft leather chair and closed my eyes, replaying the entire conversation. I clutched my chest over my heart. Although it no longer beat, I could still feel the depressing weight of it. It felt like a ball of lead just sitting in my chest. Could I handle seeing the Cullens again?

Carlisle and Esme always treated me with so much kindness and respect. In the short time that I knew them, I started looking at them as parental figures. I smiled as I remembered how all the doctors in the hospital Carlisle worked at treated him with complete respect and adoration.

Then I thought about Emmett. I couldn't help the wide smile that appeared on my face as I thought of his massive frame but kind heart. I truly began to see Emmett as the older brother I never had. Of course, thinking of Emmett eventually led me to Rosalie. My memory preserved her perfectly. She was breathtaking, and that was the only way to put it. But surely she wouldn't be happy to see me. She saw me as nothing but a danger and a nuisance to her family. I bet she was elated to find out they were all leaving me behind.

I thought back to Alice. Even though we didn't know each other long, our bond became strong, and I loved Alice as a sister. When she left me without even saying good-bye, the amount of pain that caused me was significant. My thoughts moved on to Jasper. I sighed as I thought about my birthday party. I know Jasper would never mean to hurt me, so I couldn't be angry when his instincts overpowered his rational mind. I only hope that he knew he was forgiven.

I knew it was inevitable as my thoughts cautiously went to Edward. I smiled darkly to myself. There was a time when I could not even say his name without the hole in my heart ripping itself wider. How would he feel about seeing me? I still remember the day he cruelly told me good-bye in the woods. After he left, my first reaction, of course, was immense sadness. After my sadness, I realized that anger had replaced it. How could he just leave me? After all the times he said he loved me; after all the times I pledged my love to him he just threw it back in my face. Once my period of anger was over, I went into a period of self-loathing. I knew he was too good to be true. What could I, an average clumsy girl, possibly have to hold on to a wonderful creature such as Edward?

Glancing up at the clock, I realized that I had wasted the remainder of my work day thinking about the Cullens. I stood up slowly and began to straighten my office before leaving. I took another look around my office before turning to leave the library. It was just as quiet as it was when I arrived this morning; meaning just about everyone had already gone home. As I left the library, I felt the inevitable sadness weighing on my shoulders at the thought of leaving work. Taking a deep breath, I slowly made my way back to my house.

I opened my door and walked inside. I sat down on my couch, trying to find something that could keep me entertained until it was time for work again. I tried flipping through the channels to find something engaging to watch, but of course, nothing interested me. Sighing, I walked out onto my balcony and looked up at the clear night sky. I wondered if someone was playing some kind of sick joke on me by dropping the Cullens back into my life.

Feeling tense, I went back inside to my bathroom to take a shower. I paused and looked at my reflection. To anyone looking, I would be considered beautiful. My skin was flawless and pale. My previous 5'4 frame shot up about half an inch due to my improved posture. I had always been slender, but now I was more toned and yet at the same time I still had curves in all the right places. My mahogany hair cascaded thick and wavy to the middle of my back. My eyes were framed with beautiful long lashes. My cheekbones were prominent, but soft allowing my face to have a heart shaped quality. My lips were full with my top lip being just a tad fuller than the bottom. I looked deep into my eyes, remembering a time when I would see warm pools of chocolate. I used to think my brown eyes were boring and dull. Now I realized they symbolized the life that I would no longer have. I frowned slightly as I examine the cold topaz eyes that replaced my warm chocolate ones.

I turned the water on as hot as it would go and waited in anticipation for it to warm up. Once I stepped into the shower, my body immediately relaxed as the warmth from the water soothed my skin. It's not as if I were cold beforehand, of course; however, the warmth was simply delicious.

I stayed in the shower until the hot water ran out completely. After I dressed more comfortably, I went to my favorite spot of the house, which was the chair next to the fireplace. I made a fire, then looked through my books for something to keep my mind occupied. I soon started reading a prayer book written by Queen Elizabeth I. I had read this many times, but it never ceased to hold my attention and interest. Feeling the warmth of the fire, I felt myself relax even more. I knew that I could no longer sleep, but this was the closest I could get.

As I closed my eyes, I thought again of the Cullens. How would this reunion work out? Not knowing what to expect made me feel extremely nervous. I disliked anything that deviated from my normal routine of life. I became extremely restless, and I soon found myself pacing around in front of the fireplace. I sighed, knowing it would be a long night.

*****

As I got to work the next morning, I quickly made my way to my office without stopping to exchange pleasantries with anyone. I was a nervous wreck. The previous night I allowed myself to constantly think about the Cullens, and now I felt irritated that this situation has taken such an emotional toll on me.

I smiled as I got to work because I knew the remainder of the day would be filled with solid facts. Translating some old Latin text, I allowed myself to interpret the message I just found.

"_Darkness encompasses more than the lack of light,_

_It can include lack of faith, lack of hope, lack of life."_

I quickly turned to another page before I could think too deeply about the text. Like always, time flew by when I was working, and all too soon it was time for me to go home.

As I got back to my house, I felt my anxiety come back even stronger. Maybe there was some way I could get out of this visit. I thought about some excuses I could give as I retrieved the piece of paper Alice had given me. Taking a deep breath, I dialed Alice's cell phone number and waited.

The phone was answered immediately.

"Hello?" her soprano voice rang.

"Hi, Alice, this is Grace," I said politely.

"Hello _Grace,_" she said sarcastically. "How are you?"

"I'm well, thank you. I called because I will not be able to make it to visit you all tomorrow. Something has come up, and I'm not sure of my schedule anymore," I lied smoothly.

There was an awkward silence before Alice spoke again. "Please don't do this," she pleaded.

Her voice sounded hurt, but it did not sway me. "I'm sorry, Alice," I continued firmly, "I just don't think I can make it."

"What about now?" she asked desperately.

I sighed, "Alice, it's pretty late, I don't think now would be a great time for me to visit."

"That's nonsense! You're always welcome here no matter what time of day it is! Always!" she said with an angry voice.

Once again, her words were kind, but my rational mind refused to have any of it. I couldn't allow myself to believe her.

"Well I don't know…" I trailed off, not really knowing what else to say.

"Bella, please, we just want you back in our lives," she said sincerely.

I sighed at the fact that she had, once again, called me Bella, but instead of feeling anger, I was actually touched by the sincerity of her words.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow," I said warily.

"Great! I can't wait to see you; I'm so excited! Thank you for changing your mind! Now we can finally catch up, you wouldn't believe how much we missed-"

"Alice!" I cut her off too sharply. "I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I really need to go. I'll see you soon," I said quickly before hanging up.

I knew she was going to say how much the family _missed_ me. My mind sneered at that possibility. I could not allow myself to let _any_ of the Cullens back in my heart.

Sitting in my favorite chair in front of the fire, I allowed myself to make a mental itinerary for the following day. I would hunt in the morning. Then I would come back home, straighten up my already immaculate house, then mentally and physically prepare myself for the family awaiting me.

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End notes: Thanks for reading! I'd love to know what you think


	3. The Cullens

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things _Twilight._

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Chapter 2: The Cullens

The drive to the Cullen house didn't take very long. As I drove my car up the ridiculously long driveway, I gazed at the house that I was getting closer to. This house was bigger than the one they had in Forks. I got out of the car and noticed the entire family on the front porch. I walked toward the porch at a human pace and stopped in front of the steps.

"It's so good to see you Bel- Grace," Carlisle said warmly. I forgot how young Carlisle appeared. It's amazing he could pass for a day over twenty-four. With his blond hair and bright aura, it was almost painful to look directly at his beauty.

"Thank you," I replied shyly. "It's nice to see all of you as well."

Esme stepped forward and said somewhat cautiously, "I want you to know that you are always welcome here…indefinitely." Esme still looked the same, of course, like a beautiful queen from a fairytale. Her caramel colored hair framed her soft face as she smiled at me.

"Thank you, Esme," I replied warmly, yet strained. I wasn't ready for the emotion I felt running through my body.

"Bella!" Emmett's deep voice boomed. He flashed to my side and scooped me up into a bear hug. My body instantly stiffened.

"Emmett," Esme scolded. "We will honor her request and call her Grace. I'm sure it is not easy for her to be here, but we will do everything in our power to make her as comfortable as possible."

Emmett looked at me with a sad smile. "Sorry," he whispered before he flashed back next to Rosalie.

Rosalie stood firmly in her spot. "Hello," she said in a bored voice. Her beauty was astonishing, even for a vampire. Her long blond hair was straightened and flowed freely down her back. Every feature on her face was perfect; even the scowl couldn't take away from her beauty.

"Hello, Rosalie," I replied curtly.

Finally, Jasper stepped forward with a pained expression. "Hello, Grace, it's wonderful to see you again."

"Nice to see you as well, Jasper."

Jasper looked extremely handsome. I allowed my eyes to roam his body and saw scars that could only come from other vampires. I had to fight my natural instinct to crouch. I quickly raised my gaze to his eyes, not wanting to seem rude for staring. He looked so uncomfortable, and it pained me to see him that way just because of my presence.

"Hello," a smooth velvet voice said.

I took a deep breath and turned my head toward the owner of the beautiful voice.

"Hello, Edward," I said softly. I slowly took in his appearance. He was still beautiful, with his copper hair disheveled on top of his head. His jaw line was prominent, giving has features a more angular look. His eyes were the same golden topaz as my own, framed by beautiful thick lashes. We gazed at each other for an undetermined amount of time. It could have been seconds, minutes, or even hours - I honestly had no idea.

He stepped forward and opened his mouth. I waited for him to say more, but he closed his mouth and looked at me with an unreadable expression in his soft topaz eyes. Feeling a little awkward that everyone was basically staring at me, I politely complimented the house and lawn.

"Thank you, that's very kind," Esme replied.

"Well come on in," Alice said impatiently. She was nearly bouncing up and down with excitement in her eyes. I couldn't help but smile at the Alice I once knew and loved.

After we made our way into the house, Esme gave me a quick tour. The front room was a large wood paneled family room with a 60-inch flat screen television. I figured that Emmett would probably get the most pleasure out of the massive TV. Adjacent to the family room was a beautiful sunroom. Esme would enjoy having leisure time to paint or read in this room. I also saw a kitchen that would rival a professional chef's. Across from the kitchen sat the dining room, with a table large enough to accommodate about twelve people.

We went into the family room and all took a seat. I sat in a soft chair while Jasper and Alice sat on the couch closest to me. Esme and Carlisle sat on an oversized chair that just big enough for the two of them. Rosalie and Emmett sat on a love seat and Edward pulled up a chair directly opposite of mine. I noticed that we all formed a perfect circle.

No one said anything. I looked at Jasper, hoping he would send out a wave of calm, but he just looked at me with his same pained expression.

I cleared my throat. "Well…this is certainly interesting."

"We don't mean to make you uncomfortable. We just don't really know where to start," Carlisle said.

"Well, let's start here," I said gesturing to everyone. "What have you all been up to the last 25 years?"

"We traveled overseas for a while," Carlisle said vaguely.

"Oh," I said awkwardly. "So I'm sure you all have questions…where would you like me to begin?"

"Well I, for one, didn't think you would be desperate enough to be like us that you would actually get someone to change you," Rosalie spat.

Esme looked sternly at Rosalie, while Carlisle prepared to reprimand her.

I held up my hand to stop them. "Well, Rosalie, I suppose you're right and wrong in this instance. I was desperate to be like you all, but that was only when Edward and I were in a relationship."

I made sure I kept my eyes focused on anything but Edward. "Once our relationship was over, I decided that there was no point of having eternity with no one to spend it with."

"You will always have us," Alice said with a strained voice.

"How was I supposed to know that?" I snapped. "You _all _left me, not just him."

Alice winced and Jasper put a comforting arm around her. I instantly regretted my words.

"Look, Alice," I sighed, "that's not fair of me. I apologize."

"You have nothing to apologize for," she said softly.

I figured I should get this out of the way. "I want you to know that I'm not harboring any ill feelings towards anyone." I turned my body slightly so I would be facing Jasper.

"Jasper," I started and watched him wince and cover his face. I stood and walked toward him and kneeled until I was eye level with him.

"Jasper," I said again softly. He didn't move at all. I sighed because I knew this would be a monologue.

I turned my head to look at Carlisle, pleading with my eyes for time alone with Jasper. Carlisle quickly understood my look and motioned for everyone to leave the room. When Alice stood, I told her she was welcome to stay.

"No, it's better if I leave for now," she said, then placed a quick peck on Jasper's cheek.

I settled on the couch next to Jasper and waited, not really knowing where to begin. He sat as still as stone, with his face still in his hands.

"Jasper, I want you to know that I was never upset with you. Even when I was human, I understood how powerful your instincts could be. And now that I'm like you, I can say that I would have probably done the same thing if I were in your shoes," I said quickly, feeling a little uncomfortable.

After my little speech, Jasper still did not move. "Oh, for crying out loud Jasper, talk to me!"

He finally looked up from his hands with pain still evident in his eyes. "How could you be so forgiving?" he questioned quietly. "I'm so ashamed."

"There's nothing to be ashamed abo-"

"There's plenty to be ashamed about! Every time you came to visit us, you literally put your life in our hands. You trusted us, and I broke that trust," he finished in a voice so soft I could barely hear him.

Frustrated, I decided I would show Jasper how I felt rather than tell him with words. Taking a deep breath, I felt my invisible shield start to stretch away from me so that Jasper could be enveloped also. Once I had Jasper in my shield with me, I thought calming and affectionate thoughts.

With a sharp intake of air, Jasper turned to me with a dazed look in his eye. "What's happening?" he said as a smile began to form.

"These are the feelings I have toward you Jasper, and as you can sense, there are no feelings of animosity. I truly forgave you as soon as it happened."

Feeling overwhelmed with emotion, Jasper turned toward me and embraced me. I stiffened slightly at the contact. Finally, I hesitantly wrapped my arms around him and sighed at the pleasant feeling of the embrace.

We stayed that way for a few minutes before we finally parted. Once we separated, I released Jasper from my shield and wrapped it back around myself tightly.

"Thank you," Jasper said with a genuine smile.

"No problem," I grinned.

We sat in comfortable silence for a few more minutes before Jasper broke the silence.

"So, Alice tells me you're interested in history," he said.

"Oh yes, I love history. I realized my passion for it my freshman year of college when I took my first history class. I declared my major as History and the rest is well…history." I cringed at my lame joke.

Jasper cringed as well. I rolled my eyes, "Okay, so I can count standup comedy out of my life-long dreams."

"Yeah, I would definitely give that dream up immediately," he laughed. "I, uh, have a lot of books from different centuries in my study, if you ever want to look at my collection…" he trailed off with a little uncertainty.

I stood quickly. "I would love to see it! Let's look now," I said with excitement dancing in my eyes.

"Of course," Jasper smiled as he stood just as quickly as I did.

We left the family room and went toward the grand staircase that looked and smelled of varnished oak.

"This house is truly beautiful," I murmured, as my hands touched the smooth railings.

"Thank you, dear," Esme said from the next floor. I smiled and followed Jasper to his study.

Once we entered, I saw a white leather couch across from a large window. Next to the window was a massive bookcase that took up a majority of the room. I turned my head and saw a desk with a lamp and a comfortable chair behind it next to a large fireplace.

"Wow, I could spend forever in this room," I said with awe.

"I could spend forever in this room, too," Jasper chuckled.

I rolled my eyes at his joke. "I guess I'm not the only one who has to say good-bye to a life in comedy."

Jasper chuckled again. "Seriously though, this space is my own little haven. When you see the bedroom, you'll understand why I need to escape sometimes."

"Alice?" I said quietly, knowing she would be able to hear me from anywhere in the house. She appeared instantly by the door, with a huge smile on her face.

"Jasper was telling me about the bedroom the two of you share. Could I have a tour?"

"I would love to show you!" she exclaimed, as she darted by my side and took my hand to lead me to their room.

Once I looked inside the room, I instantly understood Jasper's need of having his own space. The room was the very essence of Alice. There were fashion magazines open all over the king size bed and on the floor surrounding it. The closet door was propped open to reveal a room with hundreds of shoes and hats everywhere. I allowed my eyes to roam and take in the sketches of gowns and shirts pinned up to the wall.

"It's a bit of a mess," Alice said sheepishly.

"Just a bit," I agreed sarcastically, while smiling at Alice.

"Come sit with me," Alice said, as she pulled me to the couch near a large window.

We sat down, and I suddenly felt awkward. I looked at Alice waiting for her to say something. The look in her eyes told me that she was debating on speaking.

"Spit it out, Alice," I told her, getting a little frustrated at her silence.

"Bella, I've missed you so much. I'm so glad to have you back in my life. No matter what happens, we won't be apart again." Her words were so fast that they almost blurred together. I sat quietly absorbing what she just said. "Please say something," she added with desperation.

"Alice…I don't really know what to say." I hesitated, not wanting to hurt her feelings, and another awkward silence fell between us.

"Spit it out," she said, using my earlier words against me.

"Er…okay, well, I'm only saying this so you know how I felt, not because I'm trying to hurt you, okay?" I questioned, looking deep into her eyes, willing her to understand.

She looked at me with tense eyes and nodded.

"Before I came to Forks, I never had any close friends. Then I met you and you…you were more than that. It was like…I loved you like…you were my _sister,_ Alice. I didn't even get a chance to say good-bye to you. The pain that caused me was…unbelievable," I finished cautiously, hoping I didn't upset her with my words.

Alice's eyes shone with tears I knew would never fall and then she quickly covered her face. She started sobbing.

"Oh, Alice," I said, while rubbing the small of her back. "Please don't be upset. I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you."

"Would it be better if Jasper came to help you calm down?" I pleaded, wanting desperately for her to feel better.

"No," she said in a strangled voice. "I'm okay…I'll be fine." Her voice didn't convince me.

"Alice, please, I can't stand seeing you this way," I pleaded, feeling helpless. She looked up at me with a sad smile.

"Really, I'm okay," she affirmed with a little more certainty.

"Alice, I apologize for upsetting you. I only wanted you to understand what our friendship meant to me." I didn't want to upset her again.

"Don't apologize. I was so upset that I couldn't, at least, tell you good-bye. I never got over being abruptly uprooted from your life. It still haunts me," she finished in an almost inaudible voice.

"So why didn't you at least tell me bye?" I asked, puzzled.

"Well…Edward felt th-" Her words were cut short by the sound of a piano being played, furiously, from the floor above us.

I looked at her questioningly.

She shook her head and sighed. "I guess Edward would like his side of the story to be heard also."

"His side of what story?"

"Well, I guess he would like to explain his true reasons for leaving you," she said quietly as if she didn't want him to overhear.

"His true reasons?" I repeated, stupidly. "I'm not sure I understand."

"Well… you know how extreme Edward can be," Alice hedged.

"That's quite enough, Alice!" I heard Edward say in an irritated tone.

Feeling awkward again, I stood up and told Alice I was going to find Carlisle and Esme.

"Their room down the hall, past Rosalie's and Emmett's room," she said as I made my way to the door.

Walking down the hall towards Carlisle and Esme's room, I paused in front of Emmett and Rosalie's room and hesitantly knocked on the door.

The door swiftly opened to show Rosalie in all her glory, looking at me with a scowl on her face.

"Er…hello Rosalie…" I said cautiously.

"_Grace,_" she said while folding her arms across her chest. "Is there something you wanted?"

"I wanted to talk to everyone separately before I began my long story," I said uncomfortably. This was the longest, if not the only, conversation I had ever had with Rosalie.

She sighed. "Well, come on in."

This room was larger than Alice and Jasper's, with a king size bed and a TV that was about the same size as the one in the family room. The closet door was open, and it revealed a room about the size of my own living room. I shook my head in amazement. Rosalie motioned for me to sit on the couch near the window and I sat down slowly, suddenly regretting my impromptu decision to talk with her.

"Rosalie, I know you've never liked me because you saw me as a threat to your family. I thought that I would be able to get on your good side once you realized that I, indeed, intended to guard your family secret as if it were my own. I realize now that nothing I could have done would have made you like me anymore." I paused to gauge her expression, but she just stared straight ahead.

"So I wanted to ask you, now that you know for a fact that I'm not a threat to your family, why do you still not like me?"

She was quiet for so long that I thought she wasn't going to answer me.

"Well…" she finally began, "it's just that I didn't understand why you would want to be around us. You had your whole life in front of you, and yet you spent all your free time with the damned.

"You were only seventeen years old, and you were already giving your heart to someone who could never give you the experiences every human should have. You were supposed to find a lucky guy, get married, have kids and grow old together, watching your kids and grandkids grow up," she said softly with an emotion I couldn't place.

She turned suddenly to look me in the eye and I flinched at the intensity of her eyes.

"Why would you want to give up what we all had ripped from us? When I was human, I wanted so desperately to fall madly in love and have children and grow old. You know what happened?" she added in a hard voice.

I just shook my head, not trusting my voice at the moment.

"I thought I found the perfect guy, and he ended up being the one to bring me to my early demise." Her lip curled back slightly over her teeth. "He was the perfect gentlemen, or so I thought. It was going to be perfect until one night he and his friends got drunk and decided to have a little fun with me," she said with a snarl.

I gasped quietly as I understood her meaning of fun. She looked at my shocked expression and her face softened a little.

"I'll spare you the details, but when he and his friends were done they left me in the street to die. And that's when Carlisle found me and brought me into this existence," she finished while looking at me with a blank expression.

"So…" I began, "I reminded you of the life you could never have?"

"Yes. It was bad enough for you to be in love with a vampire, but for you to be willing to give up your life to be with him…" she trailed off, seeming uncertain what to say.

"Rosalie, I completely understand the concerns that you had. You're right - I was young and in love and willing to pay the ultimate price to remain happy." I stared out the window. "I understand now how precious my life was," I finished quietly still looking intently out the window.

"So what happened to you? Did you not willingly come into this life?" she asked curiously.

"Rosalie, I want to tell my story to all of you at the same time, but I will tell you this." I paused and looked at her beautiful face as she intently waited for my answer. "When I came into this life, it was the result of my near death. I didn't choose this life, the vampire who changed me made that decision for me."

"Who did this to you?" she asked as she scooted closer to me on the couch.

I placed my hand on top of hers. "That's a long story," I answered cryptically, with a smile.

She frowned slightly then placed her other hand on top of mine so my hand was sandwiched between hers. "I'll be ready to listen whenever you want to tell," she said, finishing with a tentative smile.

Standing up, I felt better that Rosalie and I understood each other a little better. I told her I was going to see Carlisle and Esme, and she pointed me in the direction with a smile.

As I turned to knock on the door, it opened instantly to a smiling Esme. "Hello dear, please come in."

Their room was beautiful as I expected, with two large windows instead of one. Breathtaking paintings hung on the wall, and I couldn't stop myself from gaping at them.

"Those paintings are phenomenal," I whispered.

"Thank you," Esme replied shyly.

"You painted these?" I asked in awe, already knowing the answer.

She smiled graciously, while Carlisle came behind her and gave her shoulders a little squeeze.

"She's really quite talented," he murmured with complete adoration for his wife in his eyes. "Please have a seat." Carlisle motioned to the two seats and small couch near the windows.

We sat down and the awkwardness came back to me again. I frowned at myself for being so uncomfortable around everyone.

"We're so happy to have you back in our lives," Esme began with an emotional voice.

"Esme, I must say that I was more than a little shocked to be in the presence of the Cullens again. I didn't think you would all want to see me again," I said softly, looking down at my lap.

I could see Esme reach her hand toward me hesitantly, and then she dropped it back by her side. "Of course we wanted to see you again dear. You have no idea how incomplete this family has felt without you."

I looked up at her in astonishment. She considered me a part of the family? But that doesn't make sense. My rational mind quickly shrugged off the kind words.

"That's very nice of you to say, Esme," I said while standing.

"Bella, I'm sorry, Grace, please don't shut us out. Maybe in time you can forgive us for the way we treated you in the past," she said, instantly standing in front of me with her hands on my shoulders.

"There's nothing to forgive, Esme. It's in the past." I shrugged.

"Please just give us a chance," she pleaded not satisfied by my previous answer.

"I…I don't know how," I replied in a small voice.

"Me neither," she admitted, "but we'll try together."

I simply smiled and nodded at her, wondering if she could really mean all of her kind words.

"Well, if it's okay, I'd like to talk with Edward now," I said as I watched her eyes dart to Carlisle's.

"I'm sure he would enjoy that," Carlisle said.

"His room is on the third floor. Would you like me to walk with you?" Esme asked.

"No thanks, I'll manage." I smiled at her. Once I was out in the hallway, I collided with a massive frame.

"Jeez, Emmett," I complained with a smile.

"Sorry about that, Bells, er…Grace," he said with a grin showing his dimples.

"No problem. I'm not so fragile anymore," I laughed as I playfully punched his arm.

"Jeez, _Grace_," he laughed while playfully rubbing his arm.

"Oh stop it; I know that didn't hurt."

"Yeah, true, I thought I would just humor you," he said as he grinned even wider.

I rolled my eyes, while walking up the steps. "I'm glad you had fun," I said as his chuckles echoed around me.

Suddenly, I was nervous as I was standing in front of Edward's door.

"Please come in," his velvet voice said from inside just as I was about to knock.

I opened the door and looked inside the bright room. This was, by far, the largest room of the house, with four windows and a grand piano. He had a couch similar to the one he had in Forks, and it looked as if his music collection had grown.

"I think my entire house could fit in your room," I said with a chuckle.

I had yet to allow myself the pleasure of looking at him, but I could see him watching me from his piano bench.

"Feel free to look around and make yourself at home." He motioned toward the couch.

I took my time looking at his music collection while I could feel his eyes watching me. Finally, I made my way over to the couch. He turned on the bench, so he would be facing me, and gave me a beautiful crooked smile.

Feeling a little encouragement from the smile, I began. "So…how have you been these last 25 years?"

His face was instantly guarded. "I've been better," he said softly, with a smile that did not reach his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry. I was just hoping that it wouldn't be awkward between us…" I trailed.

"No, you're not prying, it's just--" he paused seeming very uncomfortable. "I really haven't done _anything_ in the last ten years."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, after we left, I basically became useless," he said in an ashamed voice.

"Why?"

"I wasn't really in a good place after..." he trailed off again, making me frustrated.

"I don't understand," I said, wishing I didn't sound so clueless.

"When I left you…"

My heart dropped into my stomach. "Please don't." I fought to keep myself in the present.

"Please listen. When I left you, it felt as if I left my heart with you," he said quickly, his words blurring together.

I stared at him, shocked, with my mind completely blank.

"I…don't…then why…I'm confused," I finished, sounding completely idiotic.

"Bella, when I left you, it was _only_ for your protection," he said cautiously, gauging my expression.

"What?" I was dumbfounded.

"I only left to protect you," he repeated, enunciating each word as if I couldn't understand.

"_Protect _me?!" I said in outrage, fighting to keep my voice low. "Protect me from what?"

"From me!" he shouted. "From this life."

"I _wanted_ this life, Edward. Why would you take it away from me?"

"I left so you could have a normal life! So you could have a life that I couldn't give you!"

"I didn't _want _a normal life," I snapped. "I just wanted you."

"I just wanted what was best for you," he said quietly with grief in his eyes.

"What's _best_ for me?!" I shouted while standing up. "Is _this_ what's best for me?!" I gestured toward my cold, stone body.

He cringed. "Bella, I had no idea of the danger-"

"Don't call me BELLA!!" I roared, causing the windows to shake. He dropped his head to his chest.

"Please forgive me," he whispered.

"What exactly do you want forgiveness for?" I snapped.

"For leaving you, for not being there to protect you, for breaking your heart," he finished in an anguished voice.

I took a deep breath and felt mortified by my outburst. I hesitantly put a hand on his shoulder, ignoring the tingling pleasure in my finger tips at this contact.

"Edward, I'm being very rude." I took another deep breath and took a step back away from him. "It was inexcusable for me to talk to you that way; I hope you can forgive me." I finished softly, still embarrassed.

"Forgive _you_? What in the world would you need forgiveness for? I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving you. I only wanted the best for you. If anyone should be asking for forgiveness, it's me," he said as he looked up at me with pained eyes.

"That's not true; it's unfair of me to question your motives for leaving me. You don't have to explain anything to me. It's in the past now; there's no point of rehashing it."

Edward ran his hand through his hair and exhaled. "I know I don't deserve it, but is there any way you could forgive me? Is it too late? Have I hurt you too badly? I'll do anything, Bella. I'll gladly grovel before you, if that would help."

"Be serious, please."

"I'm quite serious. I ripped this family away from you. I obviously left you unprotected."

"I was very well protected," I said hotly.

"You were protected? Look at you, Bella! I didn't want this for you!"

"Stop! Just…stop. I don't want to do this, Edward. It hurts too much. How about we agree to put this all behind us and move on?" I questioned, hoping he would agree.

"You would be willing to move on?" he said with impossibly bright eyes. I couldn't help but smile at the hope in his eyes.

"Of course, I'm willing to move on," I grinned. "I can never have too many friends."

I watched his face fall slightly and was instantly confused. "Edward, what is it? Did I say something to offend you?"

"No, of course not," he said with half-smile.

"Come on, Edward," I sighed, getting frustrated that he was obviously holding something back. "Did you have a problem with my friend comment? Because I understand if that's too much for you. We could just be acquaintances."

"What? No!" he said in a panicked voice, puzzling me even further. "It would be an honor for you to consider me a friend."

"Are you sure?" I asked, still not totally convinced.

"Absolutely," he replied, flashing his crooked grin at me again. I quickly averted my eyes so he wouldn't see that his smile still had that same effect on me.

"Well, I'm glad to get all the awkwardness behind me," I said with a half chuckle. "I guess we should go back to the family room so I can get on with my story."

"It means a lot to us that you would be so willing to share your story."

I shrugged off his words. "Oh it's not a big deal."

He caught my hand between both of his and held it. "It's a very big deal, and it means a lot." His eyes smoldered with intensity.

I pulled my hand away firmly, but slowly, not wanting to hurt his feelings, and gave him a smile that I hoped was genuine. Turning away from him, I made my way quickly into the family room and was not surprised to find everyone already seated, waiting for me. I smiled as I crossed the room to sit in my previous seat.

"Okay," I said somewhat uncomfortably. I wasn't use to being the center of attention. "Where should I begin?"

"Who changed you?" Rosalie questioned with genuine curiosity.

"Oh, well, that's an easy one," I began. "I was changed by the vampire that I fell in love with."

* * *

End Notes:

Ok don't go crazy. This is definitely an Edward/Bella story. This is just one of the many twists and turns. Please bear with me and let me know what you think so far. Thank you so much for reading! It means a lot to me.


	4. Staying Strong

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

* * *

Chapter 3: Staying Strong

There was only stunned silence after my revelation; then the yelling started.

"You fell in love with another _vampire_?" Edward spat, jerking up to his feet in an instant.

"Well…yes."

"I wanted you to move on, to have a normal life and the first thing you do is go out and fall in love with _another vampire_?"

I felt anger surge through every part of my body. How dare he speak to me this way? I looked around at everyone else's face and saw anger and disappointment that I could not understand. I realized the only way anything productive could come out of this is if I didn't allow my anger to take over. I took a deep, unnecessary breath and wiped my face clean of any emotion.

"Edward, I'm not sure I understand your anger, but I certainly don't appreciate it," I said in a calm, cold voice. "My story is already complete, it's history, no amount of yelling or tantrums will change anything."

"Is that what you think this is…a tantrum?"

"Well, what would you call it?"

"I call it rage! I call it frustration! Do you know how hard it was for me to leave you? I was so close to coming back and begging for your forgiveness." He paused and his eyes burned furiously into mine. "I made the hardest decision of my existence when I left you. The onlything that made it bearable was knowing that I was keeping you safe."

Stunned, I stared at him in silence. Then suddenly I was on my feet, standing only a foot away from him.

"Did I just hear you say it was hard for you to leave me?" I snarled. "You have no idea what I've been through since you left! And you have the nerve to tell me it was hard?"

He winced but continued to glare at me.

"I knew I shouldn't have come here," I said softly. I didn't want to break down in front of the Cullens. I didn't need their pity. I could see it in everyone's eyes as I looked around the room.

I started backing toward the front door slowly, keeping my eyes on everyone. I know I must have looked like a caged animal. Seeing what I intended to do, Emmett stood up at an incredibly slow rate.

"Bella, please don't leave. Let's all just calm down for a second," he pleaded, as if he were talking to a madman with a gun.

"Don't call me that," I whispered. Suddenly I felt the room sway, and I crumpled to the floor.

"Bella!" Edward appeared at my side in a sixteenth of a second.

"Don't touch me," I hissed, as I closed my eyes.

The emotions running through me were too much. I felt my shield tighten around myself as I cut off the concerned murmurs of everyone around me. I didn't want to hear them now. I needed to be alone. I hid from everyone by going deeper into my mind. I knew I was alarming them, but it was just too much.

I watched as my body remained unresponsive from a far corner of my mind. Carlisle had taken me to the couch, and I saw his mouth move, knowing he was saying my name over and over again. Not ready to face them yet, I sighed and turned away in my mind.

The anger I felt was still strong. I was angry at everyone. Mostly, I was upset with myself. Why did I even agree to see the Cullens? I've been keeping the agony at bay these last few years and this would be a major setback. I should never have confirmed any plans with Alice.

_You're so weak, _my mind screamed at me_. The same pathetic Bella they left behind. Did you see the look on their faces? You expect them to understand what you've been through?_ _You think they'll understand what it was like with _him_?_

Even now, locked in my mind safely, I didn't allow _his _name to form. If I couldn't say _his_ name to myself, how would I ever explain to the Cullens about the vampire who gave his life to save my own?

"Bella?" Carlisle said in a worried, but calm voice. "Can you hear me?"

At this point I could, indeed, hear him. I still wasn't sure how to handle the situation so I decided to be a coward and not respond.

"Jasper, what is she feeling?" Edward asked in a desperate tone.

"I don't know; I can't feel anything from her. It's like she's not here."

Why would Jasper not be able to feel my emotions? Then it hit me - _my shield -_ of course, Jasper wouldn't be able to feel anything from me. I thought back to when I first arrived, and I kept feeling awkward, waiting for Jasper to send a wave of calm. He probably didn't even know I was anxious. I silently cursed myself for being so unaware.

"What do you mean?" Edward asked.

"Well, I'm not sure, but I think she has some kind of shield. Earlier when we were talking she was actually able to manipulate my power…I think. That was the only time I could feel what she was feeling, then after she was done, suddenly all her feelings were gone."

"Can you hear her thoughts Edward?" Carlisle questioned.

"No," Edward snapped. "Don't you think I would have mentioned it before now?"

Carlisle didn't say anything, and Edward instantly apologized for his harsh words. Carlisle remained quiet.

I felt ashamed for causing all this trouble and decided to open my eyes. I found Edward's eyes first. They were filled with instant relief.

"Bella, are you okay? What happened?" he asked frantically.

"I'm fine," I said softly. "I apologize for alarming everyone."

"What happened? Did you faint? _Can _vampires faint?" His eyes flickered to Carlisle's.

"I didn't faint, Edward. I just needed a minute to…gather my thoughts." I felt a little foolish since everyone was looking down into my eyes with panic. Did they really think something would harm me?

_Get up, _my mind snapped._ Why are you still here? What are you trying to accomplish by cozying up with the Cullens? Pathetic, Bella, absolutely pathetic. Grinning like a fool and telling Edward you want to be his friend. Who are you fooling? Just leave before you suffer anymore. Go back to the quiet, satisfying routine of going to work. Go back to things that are certain._

By this time I was standing next to the couch rather than lying across it. My mind struggled with my dilemma. Should I just leave now and forget about the Cullens? Should I allow them to hear my story? Would they pity me when they realized the tragic outcome of my story? Maybe it wouldn't hurt so much if I shared my pain with someone else. If I leave now, will that just be the easy way out? No, I could be strong. _So stubborn - this won't end well._

No one said anything as I crossed the room and sat in the chair I was previously in. After a moment of staring at me, everyone slowly made their way back to their seats.

"For goodness sakes, Bella," Alice said with frustration, "will you please tell us what's going on?"

"I'll get there, Alice, but I'm going to start at the beginning this time. I want you all to understand everything. Please try not to interrupt me."

I looked at everyone and watched as they nodded and waited for me to begin.

"When you all left me, I was a complete mess," I began. "I walked around for months, barely speaking and eating. Charlie threatened to send me back to Florida to live with my mom. I realized that he was hurting, too, and it was entirely my fault. From that point, I made an effort to break out of my depression, if not for myself then at least for Charlie.

"My truck broke down one day, and I decided to ask Jacob Black to help me fix it. We quickly became best friends and were practically inseparable. I started spending all of my free time at La Push and gradually started becoming more like my old self."

I paused, remembering what a mess I was the day I came asking for Jake's help with my truck. I also used this quick moment to gauge everyone's expression.

"The more I hung out around Jake, the more I wanted to hang around him. It felt like he was the glue that kept me from falling apart. He started to want more than friendship, and I started to panic. At that time, it was still too soon for me to even begin thinking about starting any kind of romantic relationships. Jacob didn't deserve someone as broken as I was. I saw Jake only as my best friend and would secretly wish that he were my brother so the tension would disappear. That way I could keep him in my life without hurting him."

"One day, Jake started to avoid me. He wouldn't return any of my phone calls, and when I finally did reach him on the phone, he repeatedly told me to stay away from him. Of course, this devastated me, and I felt my depression creeping back upon me. Charlie could sense that I was falling apart again and quickly became worried. I knew I couldn't put him through this pain again. I decided to keep myself busy by getting a part time job. Also, in my spare time I started to read again."

"Read again?" Edward interrupted. "I thought you always loved to read."

"Well…" I started hesitantly, "after you all left, I found it difficult to enjoy activities such as reading or listening to music."

Jasper starting looking immensely uncomfortable and began to shift restlessly in his seat. I looked at him with questions in my eyes, not understanding his sudden tension.

"What's wrong, Jasper?"

"It's nothing," he muttered.

I crossed my arms and glared, knowing he was lying to me. "Um, everyone is just feeling a little intense," he admitted. Everyone continued to look at me with a blank expression and this made me even more frustrated.

"Intense meaning?"

"Guilt," Jasper stated while looking down at the floor.

_And cue the pity party for Bella._ "It's in the past; there is no point of dwelling on the negative."

"There's plenty to feel guilty about," Alice began before I interrupted.

"Think about Jasper. He's obviously uncomfortable with the emotions in the room," I said using any tactic I could to stop their pity.

Alice looked at Jasper and gave him a small smile. He returned her smile while he rubbed the back of her hand. I smiled when Jasper finally looked relieved.

"So can I continue without everyone overwhelming Jasper?" I asked, only half-joking.

"Of course," Carlisle answered.

"Anyway, at school I started to talk to Angela Webber more often. She shared my passion for reading, and we soon found ourselves discussing and trading books. I started feeling happier, even when I was alone. I still missed Jake, of course, but I found myself strong enough to not let it bother me as much. A few weeks later, Jake showed up and told me that he had a secret." I grimaced in remembrance.

"_What is it Jake?" I asked, irritated. I couldn't believe after all these weeks of ignoring me, Jake just crawls through my bedroom window to talk about secrets._

"_I can't tell you, Bella," Jacob said, matching my tone._

"_Then why are you here?" I snapped. "You told me to leave you alone, and that's exactly what I did."_

_He winced, and his eyes softened._

"_I want to tell you, Bells, I promise, but I can't," he stressed._

"_Ugh, Jake, what do you want from me? You want me to know this secret but you won't tell me. Where does that leave us now?"_

_We just stared at each other in frustration. I was about to ask again when he interrupted._

"_The part that kills me is that you already know. I already told you everything!" he said. "Just think about the night at the beach when you asked me about the Cullens and call me when you figure this out."_

"_Jake, wait, what are you talking about?"_

"_Just think, Bella, I need you to figure this out," he said before jumping out of my window. I ran to the window thinking he was surely hurt but he was just standing on the grass looking up at me with an expression I couldn't decipher. Then he turned and ran towards the woods._

_I sat there in complete shock. How in the world did he do that? Who could land on their feet after that long jump? I walked to my bed and started to think about the night I was told of the cold ones and my mind instantly found the answer. Werewolves._

"You hung out with _dogs_?" Rosalie's nose wrinkled with distaste.

"Honestly, Bella, only you would find another dangerous creature to hang out with besides vampires," Alice stated.

"Impossible," Edward murmured. "I didn't think the wolves still phased."

"Well, Jake had a theory that the werewolf gene only became active while in continuous exposure to vampires," I explained.

"That's actually a very interesting theory," Carlisle said in a thoughtful voice.

Alice rolled her eyes impatiently. "Can we please get back to the story?"

"Sure, Alice," I chuckled. "Anyway, Jake and I talked soon after that, and he was ecstatic that I still wanted to remain friends even after knowing he was a werewolf. We didn't hang out as much as we did previously because he said he always had pack business to attend to.

"I found that it didn't bother me as much to be away from Jake. He was still my best friend, but I enjoyed hanging out with my other friends as well. Especially Angela, she was so perceptive and honest. It was nice having someone that I could be totally normal around," I said with a chuckle.

"_Earth to Angela," Tyler said as he waved his hands in Angela's face. She blushed and looked down at her full tray of food._

"_You know, there's a magic trick for getting rid of that," Eric said, gesturing to her pizza. "It's called eating. You know, when you pick up the food, put it in your mouth and chew. It tends to work a lot better if you're not zoning out."_

_Mike snorted, and Jessica elbowed him in the ribs. "Don't be a jerk," she snapped. The two of them started dating a few weeks ago, and it was obvious to see Jessica that was calling all the shots._

_I decided to take some of the attention off of Angela and poked my pizza with a fork. "I really don't blame her for skipping the pizza. It doesn't look appetizing."_

"_Yeah," Mike agreed eagerly, "how long do you think they've had it? I'd say it's the same pizza we had last month."_

_Lauren rolled her eyes. "The cheese would rot, moron."_

"_Not if they froze it and then thawed it back out to serve today," Mike argued._

_Eric looked intrigued. "Maybe that's why it tastes this way; it could be freezer-burned."_

_Tyler took a large bite of pizza. "You know, I've never really understood that. How can something that's in the freezer become burned?"_

_I rolled my eyes as they started in about the wondrous world of frozen food. As I took a bite of my apple, I allowed my eyes to roam over Angela's face again. Something was obviously troubling her. She had barely touched her food and she looked almost restless or impatient. Also, I think she may have said a total of two words since we sat down at the lunch table._

"_Angela?" I asked as the cafeteria was clearing out, "is anything wrong?"_

"_Hmm?" she said, as I interrupted her thinking. "I'm sorry, what did you say Bella?"_

"_I said, is everything okay? It seems like your mind is a million miles away."_

"_Well, I don't really want to tell you - it's kind of silly," she finished while blushing._

"_You can tell me anything, Angela, you know that."_

_She stared at me for a moment, I guess to debate whether or not she would tell me. Then she took a deep breath and had a look of resignation in her eyes._

"_Okay, but you have to promise not to laugh."_

"_I promise."_

"_Well," she began after a moment of silence, "you know that Ben has been out of town for the last two days?"_

_I nodded, not really knowing where she was going with this. "Yeah, you said he was in Tennessee to visit a sick family member."_

"_Yeah, his great aunt has cancer and doesn't have that much time left. He doesn't really know her that well, but he's doing anything he can to console his parents."_

_I looked at her blankly, still not understanding why she was upset._

_She cleared her throat. "Well he calls me when he can or sometimes he sends text messages but…"_

"_But what?"_

"_I know this sounds silly, but I don't like being away from him. I'm being ridiculous right? I mean, it's just a few days, but it's like an ache when he's away. I sound like one of those love-struck teens don't I?" she rambled, while blushing furiously. "How can I say this without sounding obsessed? It makes me…anxious to be away from him. You know what I mean?"_

_I felt tears prick my eyes, but I quickly swiped them away. Of course, I knew how Angela felt. I literally said those same words to Edward before. I winced a little when I thought of his name - it was still somewhat painful. I also understood her embarrassment; it's not always easy admitting how deeply you care about someone. I thought back to the night I confessed my addiction to Edward._

"I didn't like it. Not seeing you. It makes me anxious, too."

"Ah," he groaned quietly. "This is wrong."

_I shook my head, snapping out of my memory, and I noticed Angela was looking at me with curious eyes. "Angela, I understand how you feel. When you love someone so completely, it's hard to be away from them even for the shortest amounts of time."_

"_Oh Bella, I hope I didn't bring up any painful memories for you," she said with a small frown. I merely shook my head and stood up. "Thank you for listening and understanding."_

"_Anytime, but I don't think the teachers will be pleased with our therapy session," I said with a grin while gesturing to the empty cafeteria._

_We both laughed and quickly made our way to class._

I was snapped out of my story by the sound of a foot tapping impatiently on the floor.

"Impatient much?" I asked Emmett.

"When are you going to get to all the good stuff? I mean it's great that you were such good friends with that Angela girl, but come on!" he groaned.

Rosalie elbowed him in the side, and he winced. "She can take as much time as she needs telling this story."

I smiled at her with appreciation before explaining my evasiveness. "Well, the truth is, I really like this part of the story. Everyone is happy and alive," I said softly, choking on the last word.

"Take your time," Esme whispered.

"Thank you." I looked down and tugged a loose thread on my jacket. Was I ready to tell them how my life went downhill? Was I ready to recall losing everyone that was dear to me?

* * *

End Notes:

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! It really makes my day.


	5. Helpless

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things _Twilight_.

Chapter 4: Helpless

I took a deep breath as I looked into Esme's kind eyes. "I'll tell you about the day that changed the course of my life."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Angela and I decided to stop by the new bookstore in Port Angeles. We stepped inside the cozy bookstore, and I smiled at the variety of books that already caught my eye.

"What kind of books are you getting?" Angela asked.

I shrugged and opened my mouth to answer before suddenly feeling an odd sensation. It felt as if I were being pulled in another direction. I glanced towards my right and saw a girl, about my age, standing behind a counter talking with a customer. I felt the pull again and unconsciously took a step towards the counter. The girl was oblivious to my presence and kept talking to the customer with a dazed look in her eyes. I could only see the back of the customer. The woman was about four inches taller than me with hair the color of burnt sienna. It fell to her shoulders and had a small but natural wave to it. She stood completely still and yet seemed to be graceful. Her clothes were draped over her body giving her an ethereal glow. She looked completely out of place in the little bookstore. She would fit better in a garden surrounded by flowers, swinging barefoot on a tree.

_If I could only get closer, I would be able to see her face, _I thought. I felt the strong pull again as I walked toward her. I frowned as my body continued to inch even nearer to her. I felt powerless, like someone had a large rope wrapped around me and continued to yank until I moved. I stood directly behind her, and my arm moved of its own accord. I longed to reach out and touch the soft hair on her back just to see if she was real.

"Bella?" Angela tugged on my sleeve. I shook my head to clear it and looked into her concerned eyes.

"Sorry, what?"

"Why are you going to the checkout counter? Do you know that woman?" She gestured with her eyes towards the door.

I looked toward the counter and saw the girl closing the register. I whipped my head around, turned my gaze to the door, and saw the woman again. Her eyes were covered by dark glasses. Her nose was small with a delicate point. I did not feel the pull anymore, but I continued to stare at her. She had generous lips that were blood red. After an eternal moment, her lips twitched in amusement before she glided out the door.

"Bella, do you want to leave? You're starting to worry me." Angela's voice was tinged with panic.

I shook off the strange feeling and tried to reassure Angela. "I'm sorry. I thought I knew that woman. I hope I didn't come across as a stalker."

Angela laughed, seeming relieved at my joke. "Well, you were definitely acting weird, and it looked like you were actually going to touch her."

My chuckle was strained. "Yeah. Well, I'm going to look around for a while." I scrambled away from Angela before I could make a bigger fool of myself. What was wrong with me? Who was that woman and why was gaping at her like an idiot?

I wandered around aimlessly until I finally came across some interesting books. I picked out three classics before I decided to find Angela. I soon found her nose deep in some book with a half naked man on the cover.

I smirked. "I should've known I'd find you over here."

"Hey what can I say? I'm a softy for romance."

I felt my cheeks warm as I looked at the picture on the back. It was the same man from the cover plus a woman who was almost equally undressed. "Ang, even the cover of the book is almost x-rated. I'd hate to think about what's actually in the book."

Angela rolled her eyes and laughed. "Don't be a prude, Bella."

We both jumped when her cell phone rang from her pocket. When she looked at the ID, her eyes immediately brightened and a huge smile formed.

"Tell Ben I said hello," I said with a chuckle.

"Will do," Angela said as she headed outside to talk on her phone.

After I finally selected my booka, I made my way over to the front counter so I could check out. I looked out the large windows and saw Angela sitting on a bench talking animatedly to Ben. I would never understand how people could just sit outside in this chilly weather.

I felt the same pulling feeling from earlier. I looked at the counter and saw it was empty. I looked around for the girl I saw earlier but could not find her anywhere. The pulling got stronger as if it was a magnetic center and I was the magnet. I walked to the counter and reached my hand forward to ring the bell. I touched the bell and it rang once, its shrill sound bouncing throughout the store. I gazed around to see the store was empty. I got a feeling of unease, and I looked again to make sure Angela was still outside. I sighed when I saw her in the same spot, still smiling and talking.

I felt the pull again, this time stronger, making my body almost sway with its intensity. I turned my head back to the counter and almost screamed when I realized someone was standing there. This had to be the source of these weird feelings.

Bracing myself, I slowly raised my gaze to his face. I almost fainted. His face could only be described as beautiful. He had full lips, and the bottom stuck out further than the top as if he had a permanent pout on his face. His jaws were strong and angular, yet they still allowed his face to have a soft quality to it. His wavy black hair was pulled into a ponytail that came a little past his shoulders. I gasped as I looked into his eyes. They were the shape of almonds framed by thick, curly lashes. But the most important fact was that his eyes were amber. The same amber of the family who left me, the same amber that could explain his inhuman beauty.

He was, quite possibly, the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. I could only compare his beauty to Rosalie, and I think he would win that contest.

"How can I help you?" His deep voice had a perceptible English accent and his tone was solicitous but otherwise neutral. His eyes didn't match his voice; they made contact with mine only to be polite but were otherwise dark with anger.

"Um, I need to buy these books," I said quietly.

He gave me a small smile and held out his hand. I watched his face form the smile, mesmerized by his beauty. _Can he feel it, too? This pull? He must feel it. Maybe that's why he looks angry. Is it all in my head?_ my thoughts rambled.

He tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow at me. I looked down at myself self-consciously. Maybe I had a stain on my shirt or something. Not seeing anything wrong, I looked back at his beautiful face curiously, wondering why he raised his eyebrow.

"It would be a tad easier for me to check out the books if you were to hand them to me," he said with a bored voice. "Or perhaps you could read the titles to me, and I could enter them into the computer that way."

I was mortified to see his hand still stretched out waiting for the books that I had never given him. _He doesn't feel anything. Look how idiotic he thinks I am. _

"Oh…um sorry." I basically threw the book at him. I shook my head at my awkwardness.

He told me the total and I quickly paid for the books. "Thank you for your purchase. We look forward to doing future business with you," he said with a rehearsed voice. He almost sounded relieved that it was over.

I didn't want this conversation to be over. I had to know if he felt something.

"Do you feel it?" I blurted out.

His gazed darkened again. "Excuse me?"

I knew the store was empty, but I still leaned towards him so I could talk quieter. He automatically mimicked my movement even though he would be able to hear me clearly from outside. He looked a little shocked at his own behavior and abruptly straightened.

"As soon as I came in here, I felt something strange. I saw this woman…then I felt it again just now." I knew my words made no sense, but from the way his eyes narrowed, I had a feeling he understood exactly what I meant.

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about," he said coldly. His eyes were now chips of black ice.

I leaned towards him again and watched as he almost helplessly moved towards me. _He feels it too!_

"You feel it, don't you? That's why you look angry."

"Perhaps you should leave now." His voice gave up all pretenses of civility, and I was left looking into the eyes of someone dangerous.

"I just need to know what the feeling is and was and why I felt it. That's all. I won't say anything to anyone. I won't tell them about what you are."

I could almost feel the temperature drop in the room as his dark gaze focused on me. "I beg your pardon?"

My heart thundered in my chest and adrenaline pumped through my veins. He looked like a predator and I willing placed myself in his path.

I don't know how long we stood there staring at each other, but I was startled when someone behind me cleared their throat.

"Bella? Ready to go?" Angela asked with wide eyes as she looked quickly at the brooding stranger then back to me.

"Yeah, I'll meet you in the car."

"All right," she said as she hesitantly made her way back outside.

"Will you tell me?" I asked softly.

"Leave. Now."

There was no room for arguments. I quickly left the store and made my way into Angela's car, ready for the onslaught of questions. Before I went to her car, I turned around in time to see the beautiful woman from earlier standing at the door. Her hand was on the knob getting ready to pull it open. As if she sensed my presence, she spun around to look at me head on. My body swayed with the pull, and I almost ran across the street to her, but a car passed directly in front of me. When I looked again, the woman was gone and the bookstore had a closed sign hanging from the knob.

I got into the car with Angela and she asked me if I was okay. After assuring her that I was fine, we listened to the radio while we made our way back to Forks.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"This feeling, you say it was like a pull? Can you elaborate?" Carlisle leaned forward as he asked his question.

"I really don't know how else to describe it. It was almost like a physical need to go towards the source."

"That's very interesting. So was the pull towards the male or the female?"

"When I was at the bookstore, it honestly felt like the pull came from both of them. I felt so helpless."

"The woman, was she a vampire, too?" Edward asked.

"Yes."

"So she obviously knew the male. How did they know each other? Were they mates?"

"Edward! Will you let Bella talk?" Alice said in an irritated voice.

"Of course," he murmured. "I apologize."

"It's okay, Edward. My story is not very straight forward. There are still parts of it that I don't understand myself."

"Like what?" Edward questioned.

"The feeling of helplessness. The pull that basically made my body move without thought."

Alice raised her eyebrow. "The male didn't explain it to you?"

"He explained a lot to me," I said quietly. I felt my throat tighten with emotion.

Edward inhaled sharply. "You truly loved him?"

I nodded, unable to speak. I heard the air shift and looked up to find only Edward and I remained in the room.

"Bella, to hear you say that you have loved another…it fills me with agony. I know I have no right to feel that way, but I do. I want to know your story. I do. I just don't know if I would be polite company while you explain your former lover. Do you understand what I am saying to you?"

Edward's eyes were dark with pain. No matter what he did to me in the past, I would never intentionally hurt him.

"Edward…I…" I stopped, unsure what to say. "I don't want to hurt you. I'm sorry."

His smile was grim. "You shouldn't be sorry. This was all my doing. I left you alone and you fell in love. How could I fault you for that?"

"I wish I could explain how it was…how it felt."

"I know how love feels, Isabella. It is a feeling that shall remain unrequited for me for the rest of my existence."

_Unrequited?_ "Edward, this was different. The way I felt with him was not the same."

His eyes widened with fear. "Your love was stronger with him?"

I sighed, frustrated. "Edward, it wasn't like what _you and I _had. It was different…we didn't want it. It was the pull, Edward."

I hoped my words would alleviate his pain, but his face moved into a cool mask. He stood up smoothly. "I'm going for a run, I will return shortly. Please feel free to continue your story with or without me. I won't be offended."

He vanished from my sight before I could stop him. I heard Alice's soft footsteps as she approached.

"I don't want to hurt him," I told Alice.

"I know," she sighed, "It hurts him to think of you loving anyone else, Bella. Surely you can understand that."

"He said he couldn't stand to hear about my former lover. I need to make him understand that it…it wasn't like that, Alice."

Alice's normally friendly face turned harsh, her eyes burning with fury. "What? You told us you fell in love with another vampire. Did you make that up? Did you _want_ to hurt Edward? He's been through enough, and being spiteful isn't going to solve anything."

I was momentarily shocked by Alice's cold words before my brain kicked back in. "I didn't make up anything, Alice. I don't appreciate what you're trying to insinuate. I just told you that I didn't want to hurt anyone. How dare you accuse me of being spiteful?"

"Bella, you know I love you, but Edward is my brother. I will not stand to see him hurt." She sounded more exasperated by the second.

I stood up slowly. "You illustrated your alliance with Edward when you left me all those years ago. I never assumed you were on my side. I'm the only one on my side."

Alice's face softened. "Bella, no, that's not what I meant. I'm sorry. I just want us all to be happy again."

I moved away from Alice and walked to the front door.

"Bella, can we just go back to the way things were?" Alice pleaded.

I wouldn't lie to her. "No."

End Notes:

I hope no one is too upset that the answers are not all pouring out right now. Please have patience with me. I really hope you like the direction I am taking this story. I am very nervous about adding new characters to the mix. I feel I must say again that this is an Edward/Bella story.

Thank you so much for reading. I would love to hear what you think.


	6. Rosalie vs Bella

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things _Twilight. _

* * *

Chapter 5: Rosalie vs. Bella

I walked out to my car and saw Rosalie leaning against it.

"Going somewhere, Bella?"

I sighed. "Look, Rosalie, I just need to be alone right now. I need to sort through everything."

"Everything like what? Surely seeing us again isn't so taxing."

I ignored her and continued to walk to the driver's side of the car. I stopped suddenly when I felt her grip on my wrist.

"I heard what you said to Alice. It isn't fair; you know she didn't mean it that way. She's been on your side from day one. Even before she met you!"

Rosalie's words barely registered. I continued to focus on her hand closed around my wrist. "Let go of me, Rosalie."

"Not until you listen," she said stubbornly. My vision started to tint red, and I tried to calm myself, but I couldn't as long as she remained touching me. "I'm sure Edward told you that he and Alice are the closest. Well that's why she's taking this so hard. It's not easy for her to be in the middle of this."

She realized I was going to stay silent until she released me. She huffed and finally let go of my wrist. I sighed in relief and continued walking to the door.

"Bella, stop running away! You need to deal with this."

"_I'm _running away? I don't think so. I think that _you all_ ran away from me as soon as things got tough. I think that my life fell apart completely, and I finally got myself back together. You know how hard it was? To get to where I am now?"

"No I don't know because you're trying to leave before you finish the story. You keep stopping and worrying about everyone's feelings—just spit it out already!"

"I apologize; am I not telling my story fast enough for you? Do you want me to skip ahead a bit? Everybody's dead. The End."

I spun away from her and reached to open the car door. Her hand shot out and closed the door again. My vision tinted dangerously red again. My shield pulsated around me, ready to take on the nearest threat—Rosalie.

My teeth were clenched. "Rosalie, please step away from me."

"Just listen-"

"Get away from the damned car, Rosalie!"

She looked into my eyes, saw my murderous expression and wisely took a step back. I jumped into my car and put my head on the steering wheel. I continued to take deep breaths as I willed my shield to calm down. After ten minutes I was finally back to myself. I looked up to see Rosalie standing in the exact spot she was standing in before.

She made eye contact with me. "May I get in the car?"

I nodded, completely mortified by my earlier outburst. I turned towards her when she got in the car. "Look, Rosalie, I'm sorry about-"

"Bella, stop, don't apologize. I overstepped my boundaries. It's my fault."

I remained quiet as I waited for her to leave the car so I could get going. She sat as still as a statue. I started the car in order to get her moving faster but she only fastened her seat belt and briefly glanced my way. "So where are we headed?"

"I was going back to my house. I don't understand why you would want to come."

"So we can talk," she said simply.

I frowned. "We've already talked."

"Not _really,_ though. You had a small talk with Jasper. I know the two of you were never close, but I would think you would have a little more to say to someone that tried to kill you."

I opened my mouth to speak but she just held up her hand to silence me.

"Then you went and had a five minute conversation with someone you once considered a sister. Is that really all you have to say to her? Five minutes worth of conversation? You barely even sat down in Carlisle and Esme's room. You bumped into Emmett, and then you spent a total of eight minutes talking to Edward. Eight minutes."

"What's your point?" I asked.

"How do you feel? What did you really feel like when we left? How did it feel when Edward left?"

"I already told you," I replied stubbornly.

"No, you just rushed through it at the beginning of your story."

"Isn't that enough?"

"No."

I closed my eyes and took more deep breaths. "I'm really kind of tense right now, as you saw from my little episode, so maybe it's not a good idea for you to be alone with me."

"No problem," she said while pulling out her phone. She sent a quick message then started to examine her nails. A few seconds later, Jasper came out of the house and started walking towards the car.

"You contacted Jasper? Why?"

"He tends to be good with tense situations."

"His gift won't do anything to ease my tension."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Probably because you won't let it."

"Excuse me?"

"Can't you drop your shield so Jasper can feel your emotions?"

I didn't answer her. I looked past her head and saw Jasper standing next to the car politely waiting to be invited in. He gestured towards the backseat. "May I?"

I nodded and he gracefully folded himself into the car. Without another word, I sped off in the direction of my house. Rosalie looked at the radio and inclined one of her perfectly arched eyebrows.

"Go ahead, listen to whatever you want," I muttered. I still wasn't too pleased with Rosalie and Jasper's invasion of my alone time. I still couldn't understand why Rosalie would want to bother at all.

As if she read my thoughts, she began talking over the music. "Bella, the sooner you're happy, the sooner we will all be happy."

"What does my happiness have to do with yours?"

She turned the music down and stared at me. "You heard Esme earlier. She said that you were the missing piece to our family."

"I know you didn't feel that way. So why do you care now?"

"I don't like to see my family hurting, and since you're back in the family, I don't want to see you hurting either."

My mind rejected her words immediately. "I'm hardly your family, Rosalie."

"That's fine if you don't want to think of me as family, but Edward, Alice and Emmett all-"

"Left me! They all left me! I don't want to talk about this anymore." I reached to turn the music up louder but Rosalie's hand gripped my fingers painfully.

"This is what I'm talking about," she hissed. "As soon as someone says anything about us leaving or how _we _felt about leaving, you're ready to end the conversation. We can't move past it unless we talk about it."

I stared at her hand, and a growl started forming from deep in my throat.

"Rose!" Jasper yelled, "Let go of her!"

Rosalie immediately let go and looked at Jasper with wide eyes. "I thought you couldn't feel her emotions."

Jasper looked at Rosalie for a long moment then his eyes made contact with mine through the rear view mirror. "I can't feel her emotions, but I can feel the raw power coming off of her in waves, and by the way she was staring at her hands, I don't think she was too happy about being touched."

Rosalie opened her mouth and then shut it. We spent the remainder of the ride in a tense silence. It didn't take us long to arrive at my house. As soon as we did, I ushered Rosalie and Jasper inside. I indicated for them to sit on the couch that sat directly across from my favorite chair. We sat in awkward silence for a few moments. I still didn't understand why they didn't just let me leave.

Jasper finally spoke up. "You've been allowing us to address you as Bella instead of Grace. "

I nodded, hoping they would just leave it alone, but of course my hopes were futile.

"So what's up with the whole 'Grace' bit? What made you change your mind and allow us to call you Bella again? Does the name Grace have any special meaning to you?" Rosalie asked.

"Rose, darlin', don't overwhelm her with questions," Jasper drawled. She ignored Jasper while her gaze burned into me, willing me to answer. She looked genuinely curious, so I tried to answer her question the best I could.

"I…uh…yes the name Grace does have meaning to me. I'd really rather not discuss that now. I guess I'm okay with you all calling me Bella because I feel more like Bella than I have for years. I only talk to a small handful of people at work, and other than that I pretty much isolate myself from the world."

"Why?" Jasper asked.

I shrugged. "It's just easier I guess."

"Don't you mean safer?" Rosalie questioned. I shrugged again, and she sighed in irritation. "Bella, I can tell you are very guarded, but you don't have to be that way around us. We won't hurt you again."

I remained silent while I pondered her words. She and Jasper watched me with hopeful eyes, and I could see their kindness shining through. My heart thawed slightly. Would they really not leave me again? Could they actually care?

Rosalie sighed. "I know I'm not as…animated with my emotions as Esme or Alice, but I am trying. So can we really talk now?"

I was still hesitant about what she wanted to talk about, but I reluctantly nodded.

"I want to say that I'm sorry for how I treated you in the past," she whispered.

"Don't be," I shrugged. "You explained your reasoning and I understand." She must not have been satisfied by my response because she kept speaking.

"When Edward decided to leave, I was on board with his decision." This did not surprise me at all. She probably did a summersault when she found out they were leaving. Seeing the bitter expression on my face she hurried on. "Not because of my dislike for you. I actually agreed with what Edward said."

"You wanted to stop me from being a _monster_?" I asked as I tried to keep the acid out of my voice.

Rosalie's back stiffened. "I did not choose this life for myself."

"It wasn't about _you, _Rosalie. You wanted me to 'get married' and 'have kids_'? _What about what I wanted?" I could feel myself getting angrier by the moment.

Rosalie's voice strained to remain calm. "You were too young to know what you wanted. You didn't know what you were giving up!"

"Do you really think that was the key to _my_ happiness? Or _yours_? Do you think I wanted to 'grow old' with someone when the love of my life was frozen forever at seventeen?" I finished in an outraged voice. I felt my shield pulsating around me, ready to strike.

Rosalie's beautiful golden eyes darkened then narrowed. "Being a mother is the highest honor one could ever receive. It's a little more involved than a teenaged love affair," she said through clenched teeth.

"Oh, is it? And here I thought life involved a little more than having kids. I thought it might include finding and accepting yourself and most importantly loving yourself for who you are and _what_ you are! Through that journey, if you can find someone who can love you the way you deserved to be loved, then you can bind your lives together. Children would be the tangible item of that love. Of course, children would be wonderful in that aspect, but is it really more important than the whole journey? Is it really more important to have children than it is to love and find yourself? How can someone think about raising kids if they are broken inside?"

"Broken? You were just experiencing the human emotions of love and lust. That's nothing compared to how strong our emotions are now. Humans are so fickle. You claim to have loved Edward, then you turn around mere months after he leaves and fall in love with someone else," she spat. Her words pierced through me causing me to wince.

"You assume to know my feelings?"

"I was a human once! Human emotions are just a fraction of the emotions we are capable of."

"Rose," Jasper said softly, struggling with the strong emotions emitting from her. "The love Bella shared with Edward was extremely powerful and equal. I felt it myself. You shouldn't question her feelings." Rosalie only hissed in response. My vision tinted red. She dared to question my love for Edward? Did she believe me too weak to love him? My shield was ready, awaiting the command to strike.

"Would you trade Emmett in order to become a human again?" I asked coldly.

"That's not the same! I-"

"What's not the same about it? You want babies right? Emmett can't give you that, so who needs him."

"Bella…" Jasper warned, while gauging Rosalie's anger.

"You shut your mouth! You don't know anything," she growled. Her eyes were pitch black, darkened by her rage. I knew Jasper was attempting to calm her because her shoulders relaxed a fraction, but her eyes still screamed murder. My emotions could not be touched. I felt the anger continue to surge through me, and I felt the need to hurt Rosalie just as she'd hurt me. So I said something unforgivable.

"Your last night as a human," I said slowly. "I bet you wished you could have lived through that just so you could have had a bastard baby by your fiancé or his friends."I knew I had gone too far but my anger allowed me to feel no remorse.

Three things happened at once. Jasper reached a restraining arm towards Rosalie. She deftly maneuvered away from his arm and was instantly charging towards me. I held my hands in front of me with my palm facing her in mock surrender.

"Stop!" Jasper yelled, but it was too late. With an ear splitting crash, Rosalie ran head first into my shield. The force knocked her backwards and sent her to the wall. Plaster fell all around her as she slid to the floor, showing a large dent in the wall. I knew she wasn't hurt so I crouched, expecting her to immediately right herself to fight back. I did not, however, expect to hear her sobbing. She buried her face into her hands and began to shake violently with the force of her sobs. My heart twisted painfully. My earlier words played in my ears over and over again. I had taken her most painful memory and used it to attack her. _You should have never gone to the Cullens to begin with. This remorse…is horrible. Too much…_

Shame threatened to drown me. I looked at Jasper, but he remained standing in the middle of the room with his eyes shut and his mouth nothing more than a thin line. He was clearly feeling everything Rosalie was feeling. I felt horrible.

"Rosalie," I croaked. She continued shaking, causing my heart to ache worse. I crossed the room and sat beside her on the floor. "I'm so sorry, I…I didn't mean it."

She sobbed harder but made no other move to acknowledge that she heard me. I heard a soft groan from the corner of the room and saw Jasper clutching his hair with a look of anguish on his face.

"Please…" I said softly, putting my hand on her shoulder. "Please don't…don't be sad."

Jasper sat on the other side of Rosalie and put his arm around her shoulder. I expected him to look over at me with hatred in his eyes, but they only held concern.

"Rose, let's talk about this. Don't bottle these feelings up. Let's work through this," Jasper pleaded.

"I'm sorry," I whispered again.

"Why?" she whispered harshly as she finally regained her composure.

Why? There were so many whys floating through my head. Why did Alice find me? Why did I go visit the Cullens? Why did I bring up my past even while knowing it would bring unbearable pain to me? Why did allow I Rosalie and Jasper to come over? Why was I so cruel to Rosalie? Why? My silence only infuriated her further.

"Why are you apologizing?" she spat.

Stunned by her question, my eyes widened. "Rosalie, I had no right to say those awful things-"

"Did you mean it?" she interrupted as she looked at me from the corner of her eye.

"Whether I meant it or not is no reason-"

"Did you mean it?" she asked again.

"I'm sorry," I answered instead.

She glared at me, then roughly shoved me away from her.

"Damn it, Bella, no! You don't get to do this!" she said, standing instantly and stalking towards me. I jumped to my feet and backed away from her, not wanting to cause her anymore pain.

"Rosalie," I tried again, "Please forgive me I had no right-"

"Stop it!" she shrieked. "You don't get to apologize! You don't get to rip me to shreds and then apologize for it. You _meant_ it, so own up to it."

"It's not my place-"

She hissed at me, causing me to stop talking again. "I'm a big girl, Bella. I can handle a few tough words. You probably just said what everyone has thought at some point." She finally stopped walking towards me and sat down on the couch. She buried her head in her hands.

"I don't deserve him," she mumbled.

"No, Rose," Jasper said, horrified by her words. "Don't say that."

My heart twisted once again as remorse flooded through me. I shouldn't have said anything. I should have just kept my opinions to myself. I swore softly to myself, causing Rosalie's head to snap up in my direction.

"Don't." Her voice was icy as she stood with her head held high. "Don't pity me. I can fix this."

"Talk to me, Rosalie, let me help," I pleaded, desperate to redeem myself.

She laughed humorlessly. "Like I need help from you. I don't need help from anybody!"

"It doesn't show weakness if you ask for help," Jasper said quietly.

"You want to help me?" she sneered. "Can you give me back the last nine decades that I've spent wallowing? Can you make it not hurt every time I pass a woman cradling her baby to her bosom? Can you stop me from wanting it all? An eternity with Emmett _and_ parenthood? Can you stop the hurt?" she finished in a pinched voice while looking at me with pain filled eyes. I flinched away from her heartbreaking stare and shook my head slowly from side to side.

Suddenly, she pushed me roughly across the room, propelling me into my bookcase. It crumpled under my solid stone frame.

"Then don't say you want to help me because you can't! Hell, even if you could, I don't want your help." She flashed across the room and crouched so she was eye level with me. "So you can just keep your help. I. Don't. Want. It," she spat.

Anger flashed through me as I saw her retreating into her normal ice-cold demeanor. I stood up slowly and glared at her. "That's too bad." I said softly.

"What's too bad?" she asked coldly, showing me a glimpse of the ice queen I remembered from 25 years ago.

"It's too bad that you don't want my help. Because you have it. You made me bring you over here. You gave me this big speech about how we have to talk to each other so we're going to talk. Just like you wanted. This was your idea—don't back out of it." I walked to the couch and sat down. I patted the seat next to me and looked at her expectantly.

"You're kidding me," she said in a flat voice. Jasper crossed the room and sat on the other side of the couch, leaving the middle seat open for Rosalie.

"What is this? An intervention?" she questioned, incredulously.

"No, but it might help if you talk about it," I said calmly.

"How?"

"I don't know Rosalie," I said with exasperation, "I just can't let you be in pain. I have to fix it."

"Still the same selfless Bella, I see," she sneered.

"No, I'm not being altruistic. Your pain causes me pain, too."

"Why?" she asked softly.

"I don't know, but you're hurt and that hurts me, so sit down so we can both feel better. Please?" I added as she continued to stare at me.

"Fine," she huffed as she came and plopped in the seat between Jasper and me.

"So, we'll talk and everything will be fine?" she asked sarcastically.

"Well, no that's not…I don't know how this whole talking thing works remember?"

She sighed then remained silent.

"Do you love Emmett?" I asked quietly.

Her gaze hardened. "What kind of idiotic question is that? Of course, I love him."

"Tell me about him."

"This is stupid," she huffed. I didn't say anything as I absently traced patterns on the arm of the couch. After ten minutes of silence, I was ready to give up, but she finally started talking.

"He's so strong," she whispered, "Not only physically but emotionally." I didn't want to risk looking at her, so I just kept looking at the couch.

"And he's so funny; he made me laugh at times when I thought I could never laugh again. He saved me," she finished in a whisper.

"Saved you from what?" Jasper questioned.

"From a life full of despair. From reliving that awful night time and time again. He made me whole." She stood suddenly and rushed to the nearest wall and punched a hole through it. "Ugh!" she screamed. "I'm so selfish! I brought him into this existence. The very least I can do is love him with everything that I am and be perfectly content."

"Emmett knows that you love him. You had something ripped from you your last night as a human and those feelings have never really left you. You can't blame yourself for not letting it go. As vampires, not only does our physical appearance not change, but our emotional state is extremely hard to alter." Jasper stated.

"I know," she said softly. She walked across the room and sat in her previous spot between Jasper and me. Then she did something unexpected. She adjusted herself to where her head rested on my lap. Then she bent her knees so her feet could rest on Jasper's lap. I was shocked for a second, then tentatively started running my fingers through her golden hair, marveling in their silk like texture. We sat this way, in silence, for about an hour. I felt peaceful just holding Rosalie's head and soothing her.

"She would have been beautiful," she said quietly.

"_She_?" Jasper questioned.

"I always knew I would have a baby girl." I could hear the smile in her voice.

"What would she have looked like?" I questioned softly.

"She would have my hair color but Emmett's curls. Her eyes would be a beautiful sapphire, and they would twinkle whenever she got into mischief. When she would smile, she would have Emmett's perfect dimples," she said wistfully.

"Beautiful," Jasper whispered.

"What would you name her?" I asked.

"Emalie."

"Emily, what a pretty name," I said.

"No. Em-a-lie, a combination of Emmett and Rosalie."

"Oh," I said, nodding my head with understanding.

"So you picture having a child with Emmett?" Jasper asked.

"Yes," she answered immediately.

"Did you love him?" I questioned, knowing she would know I was speaking of her fiancé.

"I loved the idea of getting married. Of being a mother. Of being wealthy."

"But did you love _him_?"

"No."

"So why would you question the love I had for people when you never even experienced it yourself?" I asked as I felt my previous anger start to return. She didn't answer me for a minute and I became even more frustrated because I couldn't see her face. Finally, she spoke in an almost inaudible voice.

"I'm sorry."

I took a deep breath and released it. "I'm sorry, too, Rosalie, for saying something so awful."

"It's okay. I think I understand why you said it. I shouldn't have questioned your feelings. If someone implied that I didn't love Emmett, I would rip their arms off." She turned her head toward me and smiled ruefully. "Or at least I'd _try_ to rip their arms off."

I smiled a little at her words, knowing she was talking about my shield. We sat for a little while longer before Rosalie started to speak again. "Now _that_ was a talk."

"Yeah," I agreed, suddenly feeling exhausted for using so many emotions at once.

"So that's one down…six to go."

My head flopped against the couch and I groaned. Jasper and Rosalie immediately started laughing at me, and after a while I joined in, too. And Jasper and I listened to Rosalie's laughter because it was so beautiful, like church bells. It must have been a different sound than her past laughter, because Jasper just looked at her in awe. I smiled at him because I knew that Rosalie was finally healing. She was finally grieving for the child that she already loved. The child that she could never have. The child that would never be.

* * *

End Notes:

Please don't be upset for the lack of Bella's past in this chapter. She's still having a bit of trouble opening up.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry that the rest of the Cullens were absent. I have not written the next chapter yet but it should be half present half past. I'm really not sure yet...Anyway I hope no one was offended by Bella's rant about parenthood. That was not my intention.

Thank you for the encouragement. This is my first fanfiction so hearing that someone likes my story makes me feel like I'm doing something good with it. As always, I'd love to hear what you think.


	7. Curiosity

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things _Twilight._

Chapter 6: Curiosity

Jasper and Rosalie convinced me to come back to the Cullen mansion. They wanted to hear more of my story. Talking with Rosalie and knowing that she would be near me helped me decide to give it another try. The ride back to the Cullens was silent but relaxed. Whenever I looked at Rosalie, she would give me a small smile, and I couldn't help but return it. I looked in the rear view mirror to see Jasper, but he would not meet my eyes. I shrugged it off and spent the rest of the drive thinking about how the Cullens were really a part of my life again.

When we pulled in front of the house, Rosalie hopped from the car and made her way to the front door. I could hear laughter and the sound of a video game coming from the family room. Jasper and I took our time getting out of the car. I closed my door gently and smiled at Jasper. In response to my smile, Jasper slammed his door and turned toward the house.

"Jasper? Have I offended you? I know what I said to Rosalie was out of line, but I was just so angry and I couldn't help it. "

"It's not that," he said softly.

"Then what?"

"I was hoping the two of us could talk. You and Rose are close now, and it was because of that talk."

"I don't know if I would call us close, but I see what you're saying." I didn't know what else to say to Jasper. The argument with Rosalie was necessary, but my emotions were a little raw and I wanted to stay in my non-emotional place for a little longer.

"I always wanted to be friends with you. I saw how happy you made our family and I wanted to know you better. Now that I don't have to worry about bloodlust, it would honor me if you would accept my friendship."

I looked at Jasper and watched his golden locks sway in the wind. His eyes were almost pleading. "Jasper, I would like to be friends with you, too. Just give me time, please. As for our 'talk', could this count? I really don't think I can handle another argument today."

He gave me a bright smile and headed to the front door. He opened it and bowed. "After you, ma'am," he said with his accent sounding thicker than normal.

I winked at him as I passed the threshold. "Thank you, kind sir."

Rosalie was still standing close to the door watching Emmett and Alice playing a video game.

Emmett was in the middle of complaining. "I quit, Alice. I'm tired of your cheating."

Alice rolled her eyes. "It's not cheating. I can't help that I know every move you're about to make!"

Emmett didn't say anything as he glowered down at her. It was actually a comical sight. Emmett easily cleared six foot five inches, while Alice didn't even reach five feet. After a moment, he stuck out his tongue.

Alice threw back her head and laughed, "I _knew _you would do that." Emmett growled at her and Alice squeaked with laughter and came barreling towards Jasper. She jumped into his arms and he smiled down at her.

Alice looked over at me with a hesitant smile, and I tried to smile back but it felt forced. Rosalie walked towards Emmett and placed her hand in his and looked up into his eyes.

"Hi," she whispered.

Emmett bent down and placed a tender kiss on her cheek. "Hey, beautiful."

Rosalie glanced at me before looking back to Emmett. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Emmett searched her face and I saw the concern he tried to hide. "Of course. Let's go for a walk."

They walked to the front door and Rosalie stopped. "Don't start the story until I get back."

I nodded at her and watched as they went through the door hand in hand. I turned to Alice and Jasper and felt an awkward silence descend upon us. Alice unnecessarily cleared her throat. "Bella, would you like to sit with me for a while?"

I didn't want to hurt Alice, but I was still not ready to be so friendly with her again. "I'll just wait over here until Rosalie gets back."

Alice's tiny face fell, and I turned my head before my resolve weakened. I walked back to the chair I sat in to tell my story, and perched on the arm of the chair. Alice and Jasper walked up the stairs as Esme came into the room. She sat down on the couch and smiled at me. "I'm so glad you decided to come back."

I frowned. "I left without telling you good-bye. How rude of me. I apologize."

Esme shook her head. "It's okay, dear. I'm just glad you came back."

"So…has Edward returned? From his walk I mean?"

A shadow passed over Esme's face before she smiled again. "He came back a while ago. He's in his room now."

To know that Edward was in the same house made me want to go to him immediately, but I stayed still. Even if I went to Edward, I wouldn't know what to say. Would I be bothering him if I went to see him?

"You're welcome to go visit with him. Or he could come down here to you."

I stared at Esme for a moment and wondered if she could read my thoughts. "I'll go to him; perhaps he could play a song for me."

I must have been excited because I was at Edward's door a half a second later. Before I could knock, the door swung open and Edward stood on the other side of it. He stepped aside and ushered me into his room.

"Bella," he breathed. My name sounded like a prayer on his lips and I had to close my eyes. "I must apologize for my behavior earlier. "

He was standing close enough for me to smell his delicious scent. I stopped breathing so I could think straight. I opened my eyes and saw how close his face was to mine and took a step back. I shook my head and tried to shake off my mental daze.

Edward took another step towards me and his velvet voice filled my ears. "It must be so hard for you to share your story with us. For me to do anything but listen with open ears is undeniably selfish. Forgive me," he murmured.

I took another step back and held up my hands when I saw Edward stepping with me. "Can we not talk about that right now?"

He stood completely still and regarded me closely. "What would you like to talk about then?"

"Nothing."

His full lips formed the perfect smirk. "Nothing?"

"I was actually hoping you would play for me." I looked towards his piano wistfully. He was seated at the piano bench before the words left my mouth. He patted the piano and indicated a spot for me to stand near him.

"What would you like to hear?" he asked as I stood next to the piano and faced him.

"It doesn't matter, I just want to hear you," I told him honestly.

He was quiet for a moment before he poised his fingers over the keys. Then he started to play a sad sounding melody. It was beautifully melancholy. After a few minutes of playing, his eyes closed as he let the music consume him. While his eyes were closed, I greedily looked at his face.

His thick brows were furrowed in concentration. His eyelashes swept the tops of his cheeks. I followed his straight nose down to his mouth. His lips captured my attention and held it. They looked so soft, no longer the perfect, cool marble I remembered. Everything about his lips was perfect, not too full, and not too thin. They were shaped perfectly. I wondered what they would feel like pressed against mine. He would no longer have to hold back anymore.

"Bella?" Edward's voice sounded deeper. My eyes snapped to his and I knew I had been caught staring at him. Edward's eyes were darker than normal and his voice became husky. "Could you please tell me what you are thinking?"

The way he was looking at me and his deep voice swirling around me, I could deny him nothing. I opened my mouth to reply but his bedroom door suddenly slammed open, cracking the wall behind it. Edward must have not been paying attention because someone sneaking up on him was unprecedented.

Emmett's huge form came into Edward's room, and he immediately locked eyes with me. "May I have a word with you?" His voice was deceptively calm. From the way his muscles were bunching and straining, I knew he was upset about something.

Edward stood between the two of us with a confused expression. "What is this about, Emmett?"

Emmett could barely contain his growl. "This doesn't concern you, Edward."

Edward's back rounded and his knees bent as he started to crouch slightly. "The hell it doesn't! I don't know what you want with her and you're blocking your thoughts."

"I'm blocking my thoughts because it isn't your business."

"She's my business!" Edward exploded. I looked at the back of his head in shock before I placed a calming hand between his shoulder blades.

"Edward, be calm. I'll talk to Emmett. Everything's going to be fine." Edward stood up straight and faced me with a worried expression. "Really, I can take care of myself. Emmett won't hurt me." I looked at Emmett for reassurance but his expression was flat.

Edward nodded and looked towards Emmett. "You harm her in anyway and I'll-"

"Save it for someone who actually fears you, Edward," Emmett snapped. "I just need to talk to her for a second, it won't take long."

I followed him into the hallway and down the steps. We passed his and Rosalie's room when she opened the door. She didn't look happy.

"Emmett, you can talk to Bella later."

His eyes narrowed. "No, I'm talking with her now."

Rosalie didn't say anything else. She grabbed my arms and dragged me down the stairs into the family room. "Come on, everyone, Bella's about to continue with the story."

I looked between her and Emmett. "I am?"

"Yes, because what Emmett needs to say can wait until later." She crossed her arms and glared at Emmett.

"Fine," he said. He went and plopped down in a seat. Rosalie followed him and sat on his lap. He rolled his eyes but gave her a quick kiss anyway. Everyone else filled the room sat down quickly. I looked up into everyone's awaiting eyes, except for Emmett's, and continued my story.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Bella?"

I looked over my shoulder to see Mike leaning on the other side of the counter. His arms were folded and he had an amused expression on his face. He'd probably been trying to get my attention for a few minutes.

"Yeah, Mike?"

"I'm heading out back for a few minutes. Do you think you can handle everything up here?" He gestured to the empty store. I started working at the Newton's store a few weeks ago, and Mike had been very eager with showing me everything.

"I think I can manage." My reply sounded sarcastic, even to my own ears.

Mike raised an eyebrow as his blue eyes twinkled. "So if someone comes in here and asks which rod is best for ice fishing, you'll know what to say?"

I pursed my lips, trying to fight the smile on my face. "Fine, hurry back."

Mike chuckled as he left through the door leading to the back of the store. I picked up my book and attempted to read. As soon as my eyes found the page, my mind began to wander. I thought back to the bookstore in Port Angeles. I couldn't stop thinking about the male that worked there. He seemed so angry at me, while the woman seemed indifferent. How did they know each other?

The front door of the store opened and I forced a smile on my face when I saw Jessica saunter up to the counter.

"Hey Jessica, Mike's around back. He shouldn't be too much longer though."

"Okay." She toyed with the zipper on her jacket and let out an impatient huff of air. She obviously wanted to talk about something, but I just stared down at my book and kept quiet. After a few minutes of silence, Jessica realized I wasn't going to talk.

"It's good to see you, like, hanging around again." She said as she traced a pattern on the counter.

I looked at her expression and her face was perfectly neutral. I still didn't trust it, so I just murmured something like "thanks" and went back to staring at my book.

She decided to keep going, even though it was obvious that I didn't want to talk. "I know Edward Cullen was hot, but it's not the end of the world. I'm glad you finally realized that."

I sighed and closed my book. "Jessica, I already told you that it wasn't about his looks."

Jessica rolled her eyes. "Right."

For the first time in months I felt something akin to anger. "What does that mean?"

"It means that you lusted after him just like the rest of us," Jessica snapped. I couldn't understand why she was suddenly sounding angry. What did my relationship with Edward have to do with her? "You forget that I was with you the first time you saw the Cullens, Bella."

"I didn't forget that," I murmured.

"I saw your reaction to them. It was exactly like the rest of us. You openly ogled them. You even said something about them being attractive."

I still didn't understand why Jessica was bringing this up, but my heart could only take so much. I didn't know how long I could talk about the Cullens without breaking down. "So what if I thought they were attractive? It's the truth. Where are you going with this?"

"I could never figure out what made you different."

I crossed my arms and leaned against the counter. "What do you mean?"

Jessica didn't even seem to be talking to me anymore; she stared past me as if she were concentrating on something. "At first, I thought it was your looks. You have the whole 'girl next door' thing going for you. But that couldn't be it, because there are plenty of other girls at the school that look similar to you. Then I thought it was because you're smart. But that's not really unique." She stopped talking and looked appraisingly at me.

I didn't know what to say. I had no idea that Jessica had ever put so much thought into my relationship with Edward. It was a very awkward feeling, and I felt my cheeks burn as she basically said that I was no different than any other girl at Forks High School.

"I watched the two of you together you know. All he had to do was look your way and you would basically start drooling everywhere," she said with disgust coloring her tone. "Tell me, Bella, did you lose all coherency because he such a 'good person'? He smiled at you one day and you dropped your books. Why? Did his 'great personality' make you drop your books?"

My heart threatened to rip from my chest with pain. For her to carelessly bring up moments of my relationship with Edward was a form of cruel punishment. My eyes flashed with pain as I looked into her unapologetic face. "Why are you saying this? What do you want?"

"I want to know what made you so special. There's something different about you. Something that got his attention, and I don't know what that is! I could have loved him too. If he would have given me the chance."

A ball of ice filled my stomach as I stared at Jessica. "What?"

Suddenly, Jessica didn't look like self-involved, shallow girl I'd come to know. She looked like an insecure girl who had been rejected. "I know I can be kind of shallow at times. But I could have loved him. He never let me! He never even entertained the possibility. I would have changed for him."

I continued to look at Jessica in shock and was horrified to see her eyes glisten before she turned her head. "Jessica, I don't know what to say. I'm not going to apologize for being attracted to him. As for why he didn't choose you, I don't know. But I'm glad he chose me, because my life changed forever the day he decided to give me a chance. I wouldn't change a moment with him for anything."

Jessica stayed silent and picked up a camping brochure, effectively ending our odd conversation. A few moments later, Mike finally came back into the store. I had never been so happy to see him in my life. Jessica glanced up at him with a smile that was supposed to look seductive and started walking toward him.

"Hey, Babe, I was hoping I could catch you on your break."

Mike winked at her. "I can do you one better than that." He glanced over at me, then at the clock. "We're closing up for the day."

I checked the clock: 2:45. "Why? We still have a good five hours before the store closes." I wasn't in any rush to get home. I knew Charlie wasn't there yet, and I didn't want to sit around by myself.

Mike shrugged. "I don't know. My mom wants to close the store for a meeting or something. Anyway, I've already swept, all you have to do is close out your register and take it back to my mom. She's in the back office. See you, Bella."

Mike practically bounced out of the store like a normal teenager should when they find out they don't have to work all day. I was not a normal teenager. I watched as he picked Jessica up and spun her around once they reached the parking lot.

I sighed as I started to close out my register. I felt a little irritated at Mike's mom for wanting to have a meeting here. What was it about? I went through a door and was soon standing in front of the back office. I knocked on it lightly.

"Come on in," Mrs. Newton called out.

I stumbled into her office. "I brought my drawer; is there anything else I can help you with before I leave?"

"Heavens no, dear. Get on out of here and enjoy the rest of your afternoon. My Mikey actually gave me a hug when I told him he could leave early. That's the first time he's hugged me in ages!" Her deep chuckles filled the small office.

I smiled with her. "He said you were having some kind of meeting here?"

The laughter faded from her eyes. "Yeah, you know about the missing hikers?" There had been numerous disappearances lately. It was all over the news. Nobody knew what was happening to these hikers, and I knew Charlie had been stressed out about it as well.

"Yeah, I know about the missing hikers. Does that have something to do with your meeting? Maybe someone has a lead?" I asked hopefully.

Mrs. Newton frowned slightly. "Something like that. Some people say that they have been seeing things out in the woods."

"What kind of things?"

"Huge animals, maybe bears? I don't know, but there have been sightings of these animals by more than one person. Nobody can seem to agree on what exactly they've seen."

Alarm flooded through me. I had never seen what Jacob looked like when he was a werewolf, but he explained it to me. It sounded exactly like what Mrs. Newton was telling me. "But we don't know if it was the animals. It could have been something else hurting the hikers."

Mrs. Newton's eyes narrowed slightly. "What else could be responsible for this, Bella? These hikers, sometimes, went out in groups. What could overpower a group of people like that?"

I felt the blood drain from my face. I knew creatures that could wreak this type of havoc and walk away unscathed. Is that why there had been sightings of the wolves. Where the wolves looking for those responsible also? Jacob hadn't mentioned anything to me. The thought of him battling vampires made all the air leave my body.

"Are you okay, Bella? You're as pale as a ghost!"

I wiped my clammy palms against my jeans and took a deep breath. "I'm fine; I guess I'd better get going."

"You sure you're okay to drive?"

I was already feeling better and knew that my cheeks must have regained some color because Mrs. Newton looked slightly relieved. I told her good-bye and made my way out to my truck. Once I got into my truck, I reached into the glove compartment and pulled out my cell phone, immediately dialing Jake's number.

_This is Jacob. You know what to do. _BEEP "Jacob? Could you call me back? I'm worried about you and…I don't know just…call me when you get this. This is Bella, by the way."

I ended the call and closed my eyes. I swallowed the huge lump of fear in my throat and tried to think about what I could do to occupy my afternoon. _Maybe I could go back to that bookstore._ No! Definitely not. Wait. _Could those vampires be responsible for the missing hikers?_ I thought back to the male. His eyes were dark and angry but they weren't red. The female, however, her eyes were covered by dark glasses, so could that mean…

I was knocked, sharply, out of my ponderings by a tap at my window. I glanced over and actually screamed because looking back at me was the woman from the book store. Her eyes were still covered by the glasses and she quickly took a step away from my door as if she wanted me to open it. I shook my head and locked my door. _As if that could keep her out. _

Her generous lips formed a smirk and she finally opened her mouth to speak. "I'm not going to hurt you." Her voice was a melodic alto. I could tell that English was not her first language. It sounded reassuring and firm at the same time. I did not trust it for a second.

"What do you want?" My windows were raised, but I knew she could still hear me.

Her smirk became more pronounced. "I want to talk to you. Perhaps this is not the best place to do so."

I shrank into my seat further and clutched the seatbelt. "What do you want from me?"

She sighed. "I already told you that you won't be harmed. If I wanted, you would be dead already." I knew she was right but that didn't stop the fear from swirling in my stomach.

"Why do you want to talk to me?"

She was silent for a moment and seemed to be choosing her words. "This is not the best place to be discussing such matters."

"Well, I can't help you. If we can't talk here then I guess we can't talk at all."

Her mouth twitched, as if she were holding back a smile. "That's a shame. Maybe we can talk another time."

I waited for the strange pull, but I didn't feel anything. She just stood there and watched me.

"What's your name?" I mumbled, surprised at my own curiosity.

She looked annoyed for a fleeting second before her face smoothed into a calm expression. "You shall address me as Ava."

Ava started walking away from the car and before I could stop myself, I opened the door and called out to her.

"Yes?" She was clearly amused again.

"Are you responsible for the missing hikers?"

"No," she said coldly.

"Do you know who is? Is it the guy? I know his eyes-"

She interrupted me with a loud hiss. "I told you before, this is not the place to discuss such matters. If you want to talk to me more, it's not going to be here, in the middle of an empty parking lot."

If I feared her before, it was nothing compared to how I felt now. She was gloriously angry and lethal. I nodded my head fiercely, letting her know that I wouldn't ask any more questions about the hikers right now.

I calmed myself and tried a different approach to getting answers. "If I agree to talk with you, will you tell me why I felt that pull at the book store?"

Ava was silent for a moment before she responded. "Curiosity is a savage fiend, Isabella. You will do well to be wary of it."

I blinked at her cryptic message and opened my mouth to speak but she stopped me. "I'm going back to the book store. You can come meet me if you wish to talk. I don't want to influence your decision any longer."

I nodded my head and she blurred out of my sight before I could say another word. I walked back to my truck and started the engine. Every instinct in my body told me to stay away from Ava. But my mind was bursting with questions that had to be answered. With my mouth set in a thin line of determination, I backed out of my parking space and headed toward the interstate. I tried to find a good radio station to keep me entertained on my drive to Port Angeles. As I found a station a thought popped into my head: _How did she know my name?_

XXXXXXXXXXX

"She's done for now," Emmett said as he lifted Rosalie from his lap.

"Don't be rude Emmett," Esme said.

I shook my head. "It's fine, Esme. Emmett's been waiting patiently." Emmett walked out of the room and I followed him. We ended up in a large garage. It was no surprise that the largest car belonged to him. We got in the car and pulled out of the long drive way at an alarming speed. After fifteen minutes of breaking the speed limit, Emmett finally pulled over on a dirt road. He took the keys out of the ignition and turned towards me with a grim expression.

"I just have one question for you, Bella. Who the hell do you think you are?"

End Notes:

Thanks for reading! The next chapter is not written yet. I'm thinking it will involve more of Bella's past than the present.

As always, I'd love to know what you think.


	8. New Acquaintances

Hello all! Thank you for your support, it really keeps me going!

Senior Twilighted Beta: Twilightzoner (Thank you!)

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

_Previously:_

"_She's done for now," Emmett said as he lifted Rosalie from his lap._

"_Don't be rude Emmett," Esme said._

_I shook my head. "It's fine, Esme. Emmett's been waiting patiently." Emmett walked out of the room and I followed him. We ended up in a large garage. It was no surprise that the largest car belonged to him. We got in the car and pulled out of the long driveway at an alarming speed. After fifteen minutes of breaking the speed limit, Emmett finally pulled over on a dirt road. He took the keys out of the ignition and turned towards me with a grim expression._

"_I just have one question for you, Bella. Who the hell do you think you are?"_

Chapter 7: New Acquaintances

I blinked at Emmett in surprise. "Excuse me?"

Emmett's fist clenched at his side. "You didn't think she would tell me what you said? You think I would sit back and be okay with how you talked to her?"

"Emmett, I've already apologized to Rosalie, but I will apologize to you as well. What I said to Rosalie was horrid. I apologize for bringing pain to your mate."

He ran his large hand through his curly black hair and jumped out of the truck. Less than a second later, he opened my door and stood directly in front of me with an anguished expression.

"You made her cry." He turned and walked to a fallen tree and sat down on its trunk. "I've only seen her cry once. It was a few weeks after I was turned, and we came across a human scent. Carlisle and Edward tried to hold me down while I cried out from the fire in my throat. She cried, because of my pain. She begged me to forgive her for bringing me into this life."

He stopped and leapt up swiftly and began to stalk off deeper into the woods. It seemed as if the trees bowed away from him and his anger. After a moment, I followed his scent and found him sitting on top of a huge tree, on one of its branches.

He didn't look at me as I climbed the tree in a millisecond and sat on a branch near his. "It's my job to protect her. To protect my family," he whispered.

My eyes widened as I took in his defeated posture. "You do! How could you doubt that, Emmett?"

He finally looked at me. "Sure I can protect them physically. But what about emotionally? I can't stand to see them in pain…" He paused. "To see you in pain."

"What do I have to do with anything?"

"You're my family too." He gave me a small smile as his dimples started to show.

I shook my head. "No."

"Bella, I-"

"No, Emmett!" I snapped. I jumped off the tree and landed, gently, on the balls of my feet. Emmett followed suit and appeared in front of me, towering over my small frame.

"You know I've always seen you as my sister." He looked down at me and waited for me to say something.

My mind immediately batted his words away. "How could you say that? How could you see me as a sister and still leave?"

His eyes tightened. "Edward said-" He stopped when he saw my pain at Edward's name. "We all thought we were doing what was best. We almost lost you the day of your birthday party. If leaving would ensure your safety, then so be it."

Childishly, I wanted to cover my ears so I could no longer hear him. Instead I took another approach and began stomping towards the direction of his truck.

Emmett grabbed my wrists and spun me around so I was facing him. In my agitated state, my shield flexed and sent him flying into a tree, breaking it on impact.

"Whoa," Emmett said as he dusted himself off. "That was awesome!"

I chuckled at his boyish charm before launching into my apology. "Sorry about that, Emmett. I was upset...and then you grabbed me. Sorry."

Emmett shrugged his massive shoulders and looked at me with a wicked grin. "I can't wait till I get a chance to wrestle you."

I looked at him and smiled, seeing the buoyant Emmett break out of his previous grim shell. "You think you can beat me?" I challenged.

He crouched down and grinned at me. "Oh, I know I can beat you, kid. With or without whatever the hell that was," he said, gesturing towards the tree I sent him crashing into.

"Kid?" I growled playfully as I mirrored his crouch. Just as we moved towards each other, his cell phone buzzed in his pocket. With a sigh, he straightened up, grabbing the phone.

"It's Alice," he said with an eye roll.

I could hear Alice's voice as clear as if she were standing beside me. "_Emmett! Could you bring Bella back now? Edward's becoming a bit frantic, to say the least. She left her phone here, so he can't get in touch with her."_

"Sure thing, we're on our way back now." He hung up the phone, and we began walking back to truck in silence. Once we were in the truck and driving back to the mansion, I finally spoke.

"Emmett?"

"Mmm?" He was busy flipping through channels on the radio.

"Couldn't Alice have just told Edward I was fine? Why didn't she just _look_ for us?"

Emmett's gaze snapped to my face for an uncomfortable moment before he looked straight at the road. "You should ask Alice about that."

When we arrived in the garage, Emmett shut off the ignition and was opening my door for me. I was about to compliment his manners when he reached up and ruffled my hair. My outburst was cut short as he threw me on his back and jogged in the house.

"Emmett! You put me down!" I tried to sound serious but I couldn't stop the giggles that were coming from my mouth. When we came into the family room, Emmett put me down gently and went to Rosalie's side.

Edward walked towards me with a glowing smile. "I've missed that sound," he murmured.

I couldn't form a coherent thought as I took in his honeyed scent. "What sound?" I finally sputtered.

"Your laughter." Edward's gaze held me to my spot. Our moment was shattered when Rosalie started talking.

"I hoped you behaved yourself," she said as she looked up at Emmett.

"When have I not?" Emmett asked innocently. He tugged on her hair affectionately and then looked over at me with a wink. "Bella, it's my fault your story got interrupted before. We're all ready to hear more if you're up for it."

"Sure," I chuckled while I sat down in a plush seat. "Let's see how far I get this time."

XXXXXXXXXX

Sheets of rain poured down the windows of my truck, obscuring my view of the bookstore across the street. Once I squinted, I could make out the closed sign dangling from the knob of the door. What exactly was I doing here? I tempted fate once before when I met the Cullens and here I was again walking into a situation with an unknown outcome. _Maybe I really did lack self-preservation._

Suddenly I felt it—the pull.

Stronger than ever this time, I had to actually close my eyes. The feeling was almost unbearable. It was as if I would physically rip apart if I didn't find my other half. My head swam as I fought to catch my breath.

A sharp rap at my window quickly seized my attention. Standing outside of my truck was the male that I once felt drawn to that worked in the bookstore. He was even more beautiful than I remembered. His eyes were pained as his voice boomed over the rain.

"Open your door."

I hesitated, even though I knew he could easily rip the door down if he wanted. The pain seemed to lessen as he stepped closer, but he still wasn't close enough. With a sigh, I opened the door. He was immediately standing in front of me, offering me the shelter of his large umbrella. He offered his hand to assist me out of my truck. As soon as our hands met, I felt overwhelming relief. The pain was gone, like it never existed. I closed my eyes in bliss and stood still as I held his hand.

"Why have you returned?" His deep voice caressed me as he looked down at me. I noted that his pained expression had disappeared and was replaced by the same relief that must be evident in my expression. He took a deep breath and his nostrils flared slightly as he took in my scent. At my silence he continued talking.

"Please," he murmured, "tell me why you are here. Where you forced? Did you _have _to come?"

"I needed to find out why I feel this way." I nodded to our clasped hands in explanation.

He looked frustrated and closed his eyes for a minute, all while he remained frozen to the spot. Once he opened his eyes that blazed with determination.

"She knows you're here. Come." And with that, he closed the truck door behind me and started to guide me across the street. I pulled on his arm and he stopped and looked down at me.

"I don't even know your name," I said. He regarded me for a tense moment before he finally spoke.

"My name is Basil."

I watched him for a moment as I branded his name into my head. After a moment, I felt I was being rude by gaping at him, and I quickly murmured an introduction.

"I'm Bella." My voice was diminished as I got lost in his amber gaze. I ran my eyes over his strong jaw all the way to his furrowed brow. His raven hair hung loosely around his shoulders and swayed gently with the cold gust of wind. Once I stopped staring at him, I noticed that we were standing directly in front of the closed book store. I waited for him to open the door, but instead he guided us to the left where there was a staircase leading up.

"Where are we going?" I asked warily.

"I live in the apartment above the bookstore." I felt a prickle of panic run down my spine at the thought of going into this apartment with a man that I did not know. I knew that it wasn't a safe thing to do, but when I thought about the unbearable pain I felt moments, earlier I knew leaving wasn't an option.

He opened the door to reveal his apartment, and I gasped at the unexpected beauty of it. It was a loft apartment with beautiful hardwood floors. It was one big open space filled with sleek furniture that was arranged meticulously. There was no television but everything was arranged for a social visit. The couches and chairs almost formed a circle. But what caught and held my attention was Ava. She was sitting on a black leather chair with an unreadable expression. I expected some sort of greeting from her, but she gazed over my head at Basil.

"Where is he?" Her tone was sharp with a cold fury that I would never want directed at me. Basil seemed unaffected and simply shrugged his large shoulders.

"I am not my brother's keeper," he said simply. I watched in fascination as amusement seemed to flash in his eyes before his stoic mask returned.

"Careful, Basil." Her voice held an authority that couldn't be disputed and Basil's shoulders dropped slightly.

"I don't know where he is. I told him that his presence was mandatory."

"He knows I don't tolerate such insolence." Her gaze finally landed on me. She no longer wore the dark shades so I could see her eyes from a distance. They were orbs of midnight, glittering with knowledge.

"Ah, Isabella, so nice of you to come."

I averted my eyes from her commanding stare before I answered. "How could I not? I need answers."

"Basil, offer her a place to sit. Her blood is rushing towards her feet."

"Please, have a seat," Basil murmured. I sat down on the soft leather couch while Basil sat at my immediate right. I looked at my close proximity to Basil and narrowed my eyes.

"What is this feeling? Are you responsible?" I demanded as I looked at Ava. I shuddered as her lips pulled back over her teeth and a soft snarl erupted. Basil put a protective arm over my chest as he glared at Ava. His features were tight as if he strained to remain seated.

"Ava." Her name left his lips as a growl.

Her attention snapped to Basil's face, and she calmed considerably. "You'll have to forgive me," she said stiffly. "I'm not used to anyone making inquiries of me."

I remained silent as my heartbeat slowed to a normal pace. Her words floated through my mind, and I found myself aggravated that she would be so difficult about answering simple questions. I was led to believe that I would receive some answers if I came to Port Angeles.

"Why did you make me come here if you won't answer my questions?" The words left my mouth before I could think about the consequences.

Ava's eyes became black slits as her voice froze over. "Let's get one thing correct before we continue. I did not _make_ you do anything. You came here of your own volition. I won't have you implying otherwise. Are we clear?"

I ignored the dizzying fear in my chest and calmly nodded my head to Ava. I wasn't going to back down from my questions but I clearly had to think of another way to ask.

"You knew my name." It wasn't a question and she looked irritated that I still fished for information, rather than cowering in a corner as a normal human would.

"You are quite fascinating," she stated in a somewhat awed voice. "It's not usual for a human to associate so…closely with a coven of vampires."

Emotion sparked from deep within me as I started to tremble. "You know the Cullens?"

"Not all of them." Her voice remained infuriatingly neutral. Basil, however, stiffened at her response and shifted closer to me.

Ava seemed oblivious to my distress and continued talking. "I had to come see for myself. And you have proven to be very interesting so far. You know what we are, and yet you willingly came here. So you are either incredibly brave or incredibly unintelligent."

I felt the depressing weight of pain settle on my chest and I fought to hold my composure. "How do you know them? The Cullens?"

She gazed at me impassively for a moment before saying anything. "I see you are a stubborn individual. I heard you mated with the mind-reader. Did that cause a rift between the two of you? The fact that he could hear your every thought?"

I squeezed my eyes shut to stop the tears from overflowing onto my cheeks. "He couldn't hear me," I bit out. "My mind was silent to him."

Ava's mask of calm was briefly interrupted by a flicker of her brow but she swiftly cleared her face again. "Immune to his gift? No wonder you held the attention of the coven."

While I didn't suspect Ava delivered her words maliciously, they still sliced through me. I could no longer hold back the sob in the back of my throat. Hearing my distress, Basil immediately started to growl.

"You're upsetting her. Enough."

Ava didn't acknowledge him as watched me curiously. "You are upset? Why? They let you live. That's more generous than any coven I've come across. Surely your feelings for the boy have started to fade by now."

I glared at her as I furiously wiped the tears from my face. "I don't care that they let me live. I can't _live_ without him. My feelings for him will never leave and there's nothing _he _can do about it. I will love him until I take my last breath!"

"Such passion." Her words where barely audible. "You seem to have noble qualities. I wonder what you could have done to anger the nomads I have encountered."

"I…what?"

"Earlier, you questioned me about the missing hikers," she said matter-of-factly.

Bile rose to my throat as I considered the possibility of innocent people dying because of me. "What do I have to do with the missing hikers? Who's responsible for this?"

"I did not ask for their names and they didn't tell me. The male was olive skinned with a French accent and the woman had scarlet hair."

"Victoria and Laurent," I gasped out.

"Why would they spend so much time on a human?"

"It was my fault that her mate was killed." I quickly explained to her how James tracked me and ultimately ended up being killed by Edward's brother. As I told her the story, she seemed to become more engrossed by second.

"The Cullens actually killed to protect you?"

I nodded my head. "They all have good hearts."

"But it doesn't make sense. Why would they leave you here alone, unprotected?"

"It's not their job to protect me," I said softly, "I don't want to be a burden to them." Ava didn't seem to listen to me. I could almost see her mind working as she tried to understand.

"Why did the mind-reader leave you human? If he would have changed you, you could take care of yourself."

"He said that he never wanted me to become what he is. He saw himself as a monster. I could never convince him otherwise." Ava opened her mouth to talk, but soon closed it as she heard more words spewing from my lips. "When he left me, I finally understood his true reason for not changing me. He didn't want me. Why would he change me if he didn't want me by his side for eternity?"

"He didn't _want _you?" Ava stopped and shook her head incredulously. "You obviously don't see things clearly. Your lack of self-esteem seems to be your downfall."

Before I could respond, her eyes cut to Basil. "I would talk to Isabella alone now."

"Not likely," Basil said in a clipped voice.

"You misunderstand, Basil, I'm not asking your permission." Ava frowned and continued to eye him with controlled anger. "Don't you have a phone call to make?"

Basil sighed. "I tried his cellular before she arrived." He nodded his head towards me. "He obviously doesn't want to talk now or he would have answered."

"Try. Again."

He finally turned to face me and I found myself lost in his dark gaze. "I won't be far." Before I could even blink he was gone, and I was left with the uncomfortable pull. I looked at the door longingly before I turned back to Ava.

"What do you want from me?"

"It's not a question of what I want from you, Isabella. It would just be more…prudent."

"What would be more prudent?" I asked.

"For you to become an immortal."

_Excerpt from Chapter 8: My Alice_

"_You watched?" _

"_Bella, you have to understand. I had to watch and make sure you were okay."_

"_You know what Edward said to me in the woods and you watched me fall apart after he left?"_

"_Bella! Please." Alice pleaded, but I would not listen._

"_You saw me look for him for hours? You saw me crying and pleading for him to come back? You saw me get so exhausted that I collapsed onto the cold forest floor?"_

Chapter End Notes:

Sorry for the delay with posting on this site!

So, I was nervous to post this chapter. One, because it's been a while since my last posting and two, because it involves new characters.

I apologize for the long wait between updates. I won't bore you all with the details of my life, but please understand that I have not neglected the story. I have a break coming up so I should be able to focus on this story for a while. I'm excited about that!

I felt guilty for the delay so I hope you all enjoyed the excerpt from chapter 8.

As always, I'd love to know what you think:)


	9. My Alice

Hello all! I'm back with another update. I appreciate your support.

Validation beta: bonnysammy

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things _Twilight_

_Previously:_

_I looked at the door longingly before I turned back to Ava._

"_What do you want from me?"_

"_It's not a question of what I want from you, Isabella. It would just be more…prudent."_

"_What would be more prudent?" I asked._

"_For you to become an immortal."_

Chapter 8: My Alice

Become an immortal? If only this were a few months ago. I would have jumped at the opportunity to become a vampire for Edward. Then my disastrous birthday party would have never happened. But to think of eternity without Edward was just painful.

"No."

Ava's eyes widened. "No?"

I remained silent and shook my head.

"There are humans who want nothing more than to live as an immortal. None of it appeals to you? The strength? The speed? Having eternal youth?"

"I don't want it. Not without him."

Ava's lips thinned as she sighed. "You know you don't really have a choice. There are rules for our kind that your dear Cullens seemed to forget."

I opened my mouth but she gave me a cold glare.

"There is only one essential rule for vampires. All we have to do is keep our existence a secret from humans."

"I would never tell anyone about the existence of vampires. It's not my secret to tell."

"Forgive my hesitancy to trust a human."

"But I've never told anyone! You can make sure if you don't believe me. No one in this town believes vampires are more than a myth. I haven't breathed a word."

"You know I'm well within my rights to kill you?" Ava questioned dryly. "But it doesn't have to be that way. You can become an immortal instead."

"I don't want immortality," I said stubbornly.

Her eyes seemed to flash with something I couldn't place. "You are suicidal?"

"No, of course not."

She didn't seem to hear me as she continued with her train of thought. "You have given up on any semblance of living."

I shook my head but she didn't seem to be interested in anything I had to say. "Look at you. Frail, sleep deprived, just mindlessly going through the motions of life."

I flinched at her assessment. I had been trying so hard to get better. I made an effort to eat more over the past month and I had already gained five pounds for my effort. I tried to hang out with my friends more, so Charlie wouldn't worry._ Am I so obviously depressed that a stranger knows I'm falling apart?_

"There's no point of forever if I'm alone."

"Alone?" She paused and looked almost smug. "You and Basil seem to be getting along."

I stared at her incredulously. "Me and Basil? Is that what this pull is about? Is he supposed to be some type of conciliation to get me to agree to immortality?"

"He's a decent person, suitable for you it seems."

"Why are you doing this? You can't just use him in order to make some deal with me! He has feelings too!"

She didn't respond. She watched me with, what was becoming, her signature neutral expression. I huffed in exasperation. "Who is Basil to you?"

She sighed. "Is this what you did with the Cullens? Did you ask them pointless questions all day long? Perhaps that worked for them, but what you will soon find out is that I'm nothing like your precious Cullens."

"I could tell immediately that you weren't like them."

She looked frustrated with me. "What caused the Cullens to leave you?"

"During a birthday party for me, I cut my finger when opening a present. It obviously wasn't an ideal situation, seeing as how I was in a room full of vampires."

I snuck a glance at Ava and she was staring at me with a bored expression.

"I guess Alice didn't know it was going to happen. I don't think Jasper actually made a decision to attack me. It was purely instinctual."

Ava's gaze sharpened. "Who is Alice? What do you mean she didn't _know_ it would happen?"

"She can see the future based off of someone's decisions."

"So you're telling me that between a telepath and a clairvoyant, you still managed to get attacked." She stopped and looked pensive for a moment. "So can't she _see _you now? The clairvoyant?"

I was startled. "I…I don't know. Maybe? It's not like I can call and ask her."

Ava had a preoccupied look on her face and I quickly grew frustrated with the silence.

"Why would you want me to become a vampire anyway? What does it matter to you?"

"I always make it a point to have connections with powerful immortals." At my confused face she continued. "I'm sure with a bit of practice you'll be something extraordinary."

I was about to protest, but I figured it wouldn't do me any good. As if she could read my thoughts she started to speak again. "Just think about it, Isabella. There are worse things in this world than becoming an immortal."

For the first time since I started talking to her, I agreed. I couldn't imagine a pain worse than Edward leaving me.

Ava's delicate nose sniffed and she looked murderous. "I didn't request an audience, Basil."

I whipped my head around towards the door and saw it open slowly. Basil stepped through and locked eyes with me. "He still isn't answering his mobile, and the rain is making it difficult for me to track his scent. So I came back."

His body language screamed confidence but the tightness around his eyes betrayed his warring emotions.

Ava made a dismissive noise and turned back towards me. "We are done talking for now."

I blinked at her abrupt dismissal. In this time talking with her, I was left with more questions than answers. She took in my expression and smiled slightly.

"No need to look forlorn, Isabella. You and I will see each other soon." While her words were meant to be reassuring, I couldn't deny hearing the threat of her words as well.

Basil appeared next to me and offered me a hand to stand. Feeling his cold hands surrounding mine caused me to sigh in contentment and then frown as I took in Ava's smug look. Basil quickly led me outside and down the steps so we were in front of the bookstore once again.

"Who is it that you keep trying to contact?" I asked him.

He checked his phone and looked at me with a frustrated expression. "I'm afraid that's a bit of a long story."

I checked the time on my phone. "I have time."

My stomach grumbled, reminding me that I missed lunch earlier. Basil's eyes snapped towards the offending sound.

"You need to eat." His eyes scanned the area. "There's an Italian restaurant nearby and an American diner not much further. Which would you prefer?"

"The diner!" I choked. _Anything but the Italian restaurant._

He seemed a little confused at my outburst but, thankfully, didn't comment. "The rain has let up a bit. Would you care to walk?"

"That'll be fine." We started walking down the sidewalk side by side. The silence seemed to stretch but my mind couldn't settle on a specific train of thought.

"I envy you," he said, causing my thoughts to stop. "The way you address her…she rarely tolerates anyone with so many inquiries."

"What makes me different?"

He frowned. "I'm not sure. But I'm afraid it can't be good. When she takes an interest in someone, the results are usually damning."

I was quiet for a moment as I thought about his words. "Are you afraid of her?"

He sighed and collapsed his umbrella. I finally noticed we were standing in front of a small diner. I watched as he shook the drops of water off and straighted his jacket meticulously. After he was finished, he reached for the door and held it open for me with a slight bow.

"After you."

I walked into the cozy diner and immediately smelled cinnamon and apples. My stomach growled appreciatively as we slid into a booth. As we waited for the waitress, I finally realized something.

"You never answered my question."

He seemed startled by my voice and looked appropriately abashed. "I know. I suppose it's because my answer is somewhat complicated."

"I think I can keep up," I said. I thought of when Edward spoke those exact words to me and I winced.

"What is it?" Basil's eyes missed nothing. From his expression, I could tell that he'd been watching my every movement.

"Nothing."

His sharp eyes grew narrow and his jaw clenched. "Perhaps we should get something straight."

Before he could continue, the waitress came to greet us. She appeared to be in her early forties with curly blond hair and sky blue eyes. She looked tired but friendly.

"What can I get for you two?" Her smile faltered when she looked at Basil and a dazed look settled over her features. I cleared my throat to get her attention.

"I'd like a Coke, please." She seemed disconcerted by Basil and kept her eyes away from his. As she asked for his drink order, she kept her eyes trained on the little notepad in her hand.

"I'll just have a cup of coffee, thank you," he answered crisply.

She seemed to pull herself together and gave me a quick smile. "I'll have those drinks right out."

Basil watched her walk away and then turned back to me expectantly. "I would like to ask something of you."

I was instantly wary. "Ok."

"As you know, I heard most of your conversation with her after I left. I heard the distress in your voice, and now I can see the pain in your eyes. I know it upsets you to think or talk about that coven. But please, don't insult my intelligence by telling me nothing is wrong, when there so very obviously is."

"I'm not trying to insult you."

"I know that," he murmured. "You don't have to tell me anything. But if you could be honest with me, I would greatly appreciate it. In return, I promise that I will never lie to you. I was always taught that being honest is the one attribute that no one can ever corrupt."

"So," I speculated, "if I were to ask you any question, you would answer it truthfully?"

He grimaced. "It will be difficult for me to answer your questions pertaining to me, if you are so inclined to ask, that is. But I find myself without aversion when it comes to talking to you. I swear to you that any question I _do_ answer will be answered truthfully. You have my word."

As he talked, I watched the smooth planes of his face and memorized each chiseled feature of his jaw. He words were so articulate, I found myself sitting with a straighter posture. He seemed to be rambling a bit, which proved to be interesting, considering how serious and put together he appeared. Maybe this pull was having a similar effect on him as it was on me. My most prominent emotion was frustration. I wanted to know everything about the man sitting across from me but I didn't know _why_? I wanted him to tell me everything about himself but I also wanted to know everything about Ava and her intentions.

"Here you go," the waitress said, snapping me out of my bubble. "You two decide on anything to eat?" As she spoke, I noticed that her eyes stayed on me.

"I'll have the salad with ranch dressing." She wrote it down and focused on her notepad again as she asked for Basil's order. He declined and she looked relieved as she hurried back to the kitchen.

"You should eat more," he stated.

I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. "The salad is enough." In all honesty, I knew I was hungry, but I had so many questions flying through my head that I wouldn't be able to concentrate much on eating.

He shook his head, but remained silent. His hands wrapped around the steaming mug of coffee and I watched the small smile on his face.

"Why'd you order coffee?"

He kept his eyes closed as he answered. "The warmth. It's not as if I feel cold, it's just the warmth is extremely pleasant." He opened his eyes and I almost gasped at the beauty of them. They seemed to have lightened to a bright, golden topaz.

I nodded and took a sip of my coke. "Do you _want _to tell me about yourself? I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

He rotated his coffee mug a few more times before he responded. "I think I would. Like to tell you about myself, that is. What about you? I know you are pained. Would telling me about yourself make it worse?"

I thought for a while. "No, I don't think so. Actually, it might be a relief to talk about this to someone who would listen without prejudice."

"Ok then, who's first? Will it be my story or yours?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Bella?"

I turned to Alice and raised my eyebrows in question. I was in the mid sentence when she interrupted my story. I wasn't exactly surprised because she seemed to grow uncomfortable as I told them all about my conversation with Ava.

"Could we please talk?"

Everyone started to shift as if they were going to give us privacy. But I wasn't ready to talk to Alice alone. She had the possibility of saying something that could hurt me. I looked around the room in panic and locked eyes with Rosalie. I don't know what she saw in my expression but she frowned and was immediately by my side. She wedged herself next to me in the chair.

Alice's eyes narrowed as she looked at Rosalie pointedly. "I was actually hoping we could speak alone."

Before I could answer, Rosalie jumped in. "It's not like we wouldn't be able to hear you anyway, Alice."

Alice opened her mouth to object but I quickly ended the argument. "I want her to stay, Alice."

Rosalie's posture seemed to relax slightly but Alice looked crestfallen. She took a deep breath and seemed to ignore Rosalie as she looked directly into my eyes. "Bella, you need to know that I haven't been able to _see_ you for some time now."

"Oh," I responded brilliantly.

"You're future was never easy for me to see because you were a human and I'm more attuned with my own kind. But the day Edward left you; I could see you up until your father made a decision to send someone to look for you in a specific area. After that, everything went dark."

My chest burned at her casual reference of Edward leaving me. All these years I'd wondered whether or not she could see me. I had no idea her visions of me stopped so suddenly after they left. _Wait a minute. She said she couldn't see me until Charlie sent someone in a specific area. But I was in the woods for hours._

I shook my head to clear my rapid thoughts. "Alice, you saw me up until my dad sent someone to a specific area to find me?"

She nodded cautiously.

"But from the time Edward left and the time I was found…that must have been hours."

"Bella, wait," she said slowly.

"The only way you could have seen me get rescued…"

Alice shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Bella, please, just listen to me."

I shook my head in denial but my mind kept coming to one horrifying conclusion.

"You watched?"

"Bella, you have to understand. I had to watch and make sure you were okay."

"You knew what Edward said to me in the woods and you watched me fall apart after he left?"

"Bella! Please." Alice pleaded, but I would not listen.

"You saw me look for him for hours? You saw me crying and pleading for him to come back? You saw me get so exhausted that I collapsed onto the cold forest floor?"

I didn't notice that I had my arms wrapped around my torso until I felt Rosalie's soft touch. She pried my arms loose and held one of my hands in her own.

Alice dropped to the floor so she could kneel in front of me. She tried to grab my other hand but I snatched it away.

"Don't. Don't hate me," Alice whispered. "I watched because I wanted to make sure you were safe. When Edward left, I knew you were going to try and follow him. So I watched, even though I knew I had no right to. I loved you too much to stop looking for your future. Your dad made the decision to send someone to look in a specific area of the forest and then your future disappeared."

I shook my head at her disbelievingly. "I just can't believe you could sit back and watch me fall apart."

"I'm so sorry. I knew it would be hard for you to let him go, but I thought you could eventually move on."

"You thought I would move on?" I stopped and breathed in Rosalie's comforting scent. "What did you expect of me? You thought I would just go on with my life as if I didn't have an entire family ripped from me? I thought you knew me better than that, Alice."

"Please don't be angry with me. I never meant to hurt you, I promise."

But I wasn't angry, _not really_. I tried to come up with words to describe my feelings. _Hurt, betrayal, devastation? _Someone I once considered a sister knew that my heart was going to get ripped out and did nothing to stop it. It's almost as if she approved of everything Edward said to me in the woods. Did she think I wasn't good enough for him either? Is that why she went along with everything? Was she also tired of pretending to be something she's not? Was she tired of being my best friend?

I leaned forward to look at Alice's beautiful face. "I'm not angry with you. I'm just…hurt." I felt deflated. I felt the familiar ache of emptiness. I needed to get out of this house. I stood up slowly and gave Rosalie a grateful smile as I pulled my hand from hers.

"I need to go back to my house."

"Why?" Rosalie questioned. She and Alice both stood with me.

"I have work tomorrow, and I need to catch up on a few things." I was actually surprised the weekend was over already. It felt as if I had just walked into their house but I had been here for more than 30 hours. And this didn't even include the trip to my house with Rosalie and Jasper or my trip to the woods with Emmett.

I noticed everyone had come back down to tell me goodbye. Before I could walk to the door, Alice whimpered. "Bella, tell me what I can do to make this better."

I couldn't stand to see her in any kind of pain but I didn't want to lie to her either. I walked closer to Alice and raised my hand to cup her cheek.

"Don't be sad," I murmured, "I can't stand it."

Her cheek felt like satin to the touch and she automatically leaned in to my cupped palm. I brought my other hand to her face and traced the faint purple shadows under her eyes.

"You need to hunt," I told her. After I pulled my hands away from her, she didn't look quite as sad. I smiled slightly. "We'll work something out, Alice. I just need time."

She nodded and stepped back into Jasper's embrace. He caught my eye and gave me a subtle nod before turning his attention back on his soul mate.

Esme appeared in front of me and cautiously took my hand. I smiled at her and squeezed her hands slightly.

"When can we see you again?" she asked.

"I'm not sure, I usually go to the library before it actually opens to the public, and I stay long after it closes."

I looked to the corner of the room and saw Edward's shoulders slump in defeat. I had to say something to take his pain away. "I actually have a considerably long lunch break that I rarely take. So if someone wanted to visit me, that would be nice, and I could show them around the library."

Edward's eyes snap to mine and I was rewarded with a brilliant smile that took my breath away. Everyone quickly told me goodbye and as I turned towards the front door, there was Edward.

"May I walk you out?"

"Sure."

He opened the front door for me and closed it behind us. "I was wondering if it would be okay if I came to visit you alone during your lunch break."

"Of course."

"I know you and Rosalie are a bit closer now, and if you wanted her to be the one to visit, I didn't want to get in the way."

"You wouldn't be!" I blurted. "In the way, that is. I'd like to show you around, maybe show you some of the books I'm reading."

"I would love that." We stopped beside my car and smiled at each other for a full minute.

"Well I should be going." He opened the car door for me and, to my amusement, helped me buckle my seat belt.

"One more thing, Bella," he started. I looked at him expectantly as he seemed to gather his words. "When is it our turn to talk?"

"What do you mean?" I decided to play ignorant.

"I think you know. I'm not going to rush you, but there are many things I wish to say to you about _us."_

I felt my chest tighten at his words. "I need time, Edward."

He nodded. "Take as much time as you need. I'll wait for as long as it takes."

I started the car and with a short wave I was gone. On the way back to my house, I turned my radio as loud as it could go so I could stop my mind from thinking double time. I took a deep breath and smelled Rosalie and Jasper's soothing scents still fresh on my seats. I couldn't help but smile as one thought swirled through my mind. _The Cullens are back._

End Notes:

Thank you so much for reading.

I know that the Cullens never really responded to Bella's conversation with Ava. But don't worry, they will eventually.

I know that Bella and Edward have had limited interactions throughout the story but they're still not ready for the talk.

As always, I'd love to know what you think.


	10. Not Fixed

Author's Chapter Notes:

Hello all! Remember me? I hope so. Thank you so much for all the reviews. I'm about to respond to them all soon.

My new beta is bonnysammy

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

Chapter 9: Not Fixed

I walked into work the next morning, holding a steaming cup of coffee. I found Arnie behind his desk, looking at several security camera screens. I placed the coffee in front of him as a greeting. He glanced at me briefly before taking a sip of the coffee.

"Ahh, the third cup is even better than the second."

"I don't know why I bring you that almost every morning. You drink way too much coffee."

He shrugged. "You're an enabler." His toffee eyes twinkled and his eyes wrinkled at the corner as he smiled. At that moment, he reminded me of Charlie my throat tightened. After I left him, I made my way to my office and expected time to fly by like it usually does. This time, it didn't. I paced around my office, thinking of Edward's arrival. I decided to walk around the library for a bit to clear my mind.

I reached the hallway and there he was, standing stiffly with Karen. My vision zeroed in on her hand. It was resting against Edward's forearm. _Shameless_. I felt an uncomfortable twinge of jealousy and folded my arms across my chest. Once Edward saw me, his face lit up and he immediately made his way towards me with Karen on his heels.

"Grace, I was just keeping your friend entertained." She flicked her flawless black, shoulder-length hair. "You kept him waiting long enough."

"I wasn't told that he was here." I glared at her briefly.

She gave me an unapologetic smile and turned her attention back to Edward. "It was a _pleasure_ meeting you, Edward," she purred.

He turned towards her and smiled, showing all of his teeth. Her heart sputtered and fear seeped from her pores. She mumbled a hasty goodbye and stumbled back down the hallway.

I looked at Edward with a raised eyebrow. "You know she's terrified of you now."

He shrugged. "Better her be terrified than infatuated."

I silently agreed as I ushered him inside of my office. I shifted nervously. "Make yourself comfortable."

He glanced around the space before he settled into the chair across from my desk. I sat down in my chair and waited for him to speak. After three whole minutes, he finally spoke.

"This is a beautiful library."

"Yes, it is." I kept my eyes firmly on the desk.

"Bella, please look at me."

My gaze snapped to his face and he immediately relaxed. "When you came into the hallway and saw me with your colleague, a strange look crossed your face."

"I'm not sure I understand." My voice sounded unsteady and I hated that.

"Forgive my assumption, but might it have been…?" He tugged his hair. "Were you _jealous_, Bella?"

I blinked, thoroughly embarrassed. "It's hardly my place to be jealous, Edward."

"Hardly your place?" His jaw clenched as his eyes filled with sorrow. His hands furiously raked through his hair. I was afraid he would actually pull it out if he continued. I flashed to his side and gently removed his fingers from their steel grip on his bronze locks.

"Don't do that," I murmured. I had to restrain myself from responding to the pleasurable tingling I received from touching him. He sighed, causing his honeyed scent to invade my senses. It was like a drug. I breathed in hungrily, wanting every bit of it. I realized my close proximity to him and started to back away, mortified.

His hand shot out and captured my wrist. "Please. Don't be embarrassed. I…I _crave_ your touch." His voice grew deeper. "I crave your scent."

He took a deep breath and groaned in pleasure. That sound, unlike anything I ever heard from him, caused heat to blossom throughout my body. His nostrils flared and his eyes darkened. "Please, Bella."

I don't know what he was asking but in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to lose myself in Edward. I didn't want to think about the past, I wanted to pretend. So for that moment, I did. I let myself believe that he loved me. I let myself believe that he'd never left. I leaned towards him, hoping that he wanted this moment as much as I. Pretending that he did.

His hand reached out and lightly grazed my cheek. The air left my body as I swayed, hopelessly addicted.

"Bella." His soft eyes were onyx. He looked at me with such a tender expression, my heart ached. "Please, tell me you still feel this between us. This connection. Tell me I'm not too late."

He leaned forward and placed his lips against my forehead. And there I was, transported back to a happier time. I was young and carefree and deeply in love with an Adonis who loved me in return.

Edward's eyes flickered to my lips and his head descended. My body rejoiced, knowing that his lips would be on mine soon. Just as he was centimeters away, my mind woke up. I was _not_ the same Bella as before. That Bella had not known despair. She didn't know how it felt to lose everyone dear to her.

I shook my head. "Please don't."

"Why not?" he demanded. Before I could answer, he looked towards the door and pulled himself away from me just as a knock sounded.

"Come in," I said, welcoming the interruption.

Arnie came through with a large smile planted on his face. I couldn't help but return it.

"I didn't know you had a visitor. Sorry to interrupt," he said, glancing at Edward with curiosity.

"Not at all, Arnie. Come in." I gestured towards Edward. "This is Edward Cullen. Edward, this is Arnold Mitchell, the person who keeps us all safe in this library."

Arnie's dark caramel skin tinted red at my compliment. Edward stood and offered a hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Mitchell."

Arnie grasped his hand and smiled. "Please, call me Arnie."

"So, Arnie, what's going on? You're practically bursting with good news."

His large smile seemed to get brighter. "I didn't want to leave without telling you. I'm on my way to the hospital. I'm about to be a granddad."

I was thrilled at the news. Arnie's only daughter was having a baby and he always kept me updated on her progress.

"That's great, Arnie!"

Edward gave him a warm smile. "Congratulations."

Arnie nodded. "Thanks. It's just so surreal. My baby is having a baby." He blinked twice and cleared his throat. "My little girl."

I walked towards him and grasped his hands. "It's going to be great. Make sure you take pictures."

"Sure thing." He made his way to the door. "See you, Grace. Nice meeting you, Edward."

Once he left, Edward looked at me and smiled. "He has a kind heart. He thinks of you as a daughter."

My eyes burned uncomfortably at his words, and I longed for tears. "He's about the only person I talk to here."

"I can understand why."

The silence that fell was awkward. I smoothed my shirt and returned to my seat.

"We were interrupted," Edward said.

"I know."

"Why did you stop me?"

"Edward, I can't. I can't just go back. I'm not the same person you left behind."

He looked deep into my eyes. "You will always be my Bella."

I shook my head furiously. "No. No, I'm not….I don't think you understand how much it hurt me when you left."

"Tell me," he breathed.

"I…It was like someone _died_. Like _I_ died. And I mourned for our love. There was never a time when you weren't in my thoughts. Every tick of the clock. Every beat of my heart. It all belonged to you. It all ached."

"I didn't know," he moaned. "I didn't think it would be that bad for you."

"Because you didn't believe I loved you." It was a statement not open for argument.

His eyes shut tightly. "Please, just let me explain."

"Another time, I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"I'll take whatever time you can give me."

I nodded. "My break is up, but you're welcome to stay."

He smiled, but it did not reach his eyes. "I'd love to stay. Will I distract you?"

_Definitely._ "No, not at all."

I found that I actually could concentrate with Edward in the room. I didn't allow my mind to think about our conversation. Instead, I read with vigor. It wasn't until Edward cleared his throat that I realized it was time to go.

I locked up my office and we walked in a surprisingly comfortable silence.

"Did you know that you smile when you read?"

"Um, no." I looked at him. "Did you watch me the whole time?"

He shrugged. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I told you that you could read anything on my shelves. You didn't have to watch me."

He stopped and turned towards me. "There's nothing else worth looking at when you're around."

I couldn't hold his intense stare so I guided us outside. We stood in front of the library for a second before he finally spoke again.

"You know you're welcome at our home anytime."

I thought about going back to my empty house and it was not very appealing. "Could I ride with you?"

"Of course."

We walked for a block and there was his car. The _same_ silver Volvo. "Edward? Is this the same car?"

He looked embarrassed and shrugged yet again. "With a mechanic in the family, it's easy to keep the car in pristine condition."

I didn't really have anything to say to that so we just got in. My phone rang after we pulled out.

It was Rosalie.

"_Bella?"_

"Yes, Rosalie?"

"_Are you coming over?"_

"Actually, I'm on the way now."

"_Okay, good."_

"Yeah."

"_See you soon then."_

I hung up and looked at Edward. He had a smile on his face.

"I think Rose is rather taken with you."

"Is she?"

"Definitely. She never goes out of her way to include someone, except for Emmett of course."

"She probably just wants to hear more of my story."

"We all do."

We rode for a few more minutes. "You all keep the same facial expression as I tell my story. I don't know what any of you are thinking."

"You're not supposed to. I'm the mind reader."

I scowled.

He chuckled softly and it was such a beautiful sound. "We try to keep a neutral expression so you will feel free in continuing your story."

"It's a little unnerving."

"It's not meant to be."

Soon we were at the Cullen house and I was back in the large family room. Everyone greeted me at the door and watched me expectantly as I sat down.

"Will you tell us more?" Rosalie asked.

"Yeah, I'm going to tell you more about Basil."I looked at Edward. "Is that okay?"

"Of course," he said sincerely.

So I made myself comfortable and started to tell more of my story.

XXXXXXXXX

Basil and I decided to leave the diner before talking more about ourselves. On the way out, Charlie called to tell me that he wouldn't be coming home until much later.

I frowned as I ended the call.

"What is it?" Basil asked, looking at my sour expression.

I pulled my jacket together and shivered slightly, wishing my truck was parked closer to the diner. "My dad is working himself to the ground. He's barely ever home, he eats nothing but fast food and I doubt he's getting any sleep."

"He takes his job seriously. That's very admirable of him."

I nodded and couldn't help but smile with pride for my dad. "Yeah. With all of the disappearances, he's just drained." I looked at him cautiously. "Do you think…? Maybe Ava…"

"She would never be so sloppy."

My suspicions were confirmed. Ava drank from humans. Basil watched my reaction. "Surely you knew that she fed traditionally?"

"Her eyes were black."

"I suppose your eyes couldn't see the flecks of red."

I bristled at his tone. "Well excuse me for not having super vampire vision."

His lips twitched upward, but he remained silent. We walked in comfortable silence and finally reached my truck.

Basil examined the darkening sky. "Perhaps we should wait until another day to share our stories. It's getting rather late."

"Okay, then." I kept my voice steady. He opened the door for me and helped me inside the truck. I could barely look at him. What if the pain returned as soon as I drove away?

He placed a finger under my chin and tilted my head so I could meet his gaze.

"Tomorrow, I will come to you," he murmured.

I averted my eyes and nodded firmly. He stepped away from the truck and I pulled away. I drove for about two miles before the pain hit me. It was suffocating. My heart clenched painfully and thumped unevenly. I pulled to the side of the road and rested my head on the steering wheel. I wondered how I could possibly drive home this way. The thought of driving further caused a sob to sputter out. _What's wrong with me?_

Minutes passed, but the pain never lessened.

I sobbed openly, clutching my chest, wishing for the pain to stop. After a few moments, the agony began to lessen. I knew the only person that could be responsible for this, so I reached over and unlocked my passenger door. Basil slipped into the truck. And there it was—relief. So sweet, I could taste it.

Basil grabbed my hand and ran soothing circles over my knuckles.

"Are you okay?" His voice sounded concern.

"Are you?" I countered. He released my hand and covered his face.

"No," he mumbled. "But I'm more concerned about you. Your heart rate is up and so is your blood pressure."

"Do you feel it too? Does it hurt you too?"

"Yes." He was quiet for a moment. "But my body can take it."

"Why?" My voice cracked. "Tell me what this is."

"I can't."

I looked at him sharply, causing him to back track. "I can only tell you my guess. I don't know anything for sure."

"So tell me your theory."

"It's not safe to be sitting here on the side of the road. Are you well enough to drive?"

My heart thudded.

"Don't worry. We won't be apart."

I nodded. "I'll drive, you talk."

"Okay," he said. "You have to understand that _she_ hardly tells me anything."

"Ava?"

He nodded. I thought back over our conversations and realized that he never actually spoke her name in my presence.

"Why won't you say her name? You just refer to her as _she_."

"Because that's not her name."

"It's not?"

"She always tells people what to _address _her as and she changes that frequently. I have no interest in keeping up."

"How long have you known her?"

"I've known her since the day she ended my life."His tone had turned bitter. I didn't look at him but I could practically hear him frowning.

"You didn't want to become a vampire?"

"Of course not."

"Then why did she change you?"

"That's a question I still ask myself today."

"You seem bitter towards her. Why are you still with her now? Can't you just leave?"

"It's complicated," he said softly. "Why don't I start at the beginning? If you don't mind?"

"I don't mind at all."

He seemed to brace himself before he began to talk by taking deep breaths. "Okay, I was born in London, England in 1788 as Basil Nathaniel Masters."

He looked at me nervously, as if this bit of information would frighten me. I glanced at him quickly and gave him a reassuring smile. He seemed relieved and finally trudged on.

"Five minutes later, my brother was born. Our parents told us that for the first year of our life, they had a hard time telling us apart. Once we grew older our hair started to grow and it was very obvious that we were fraternal twins. While my hair was black like both my parents, his hair was blonde. So blonde, it was almost silver. We were told that he was the spitting image of our mother's father. But it wasn't just our hair that was different, our features started to change as well. His nose was broader than mine but my jaw was more prominent. We grew up as best friends. Sharing every aspect of our lives together.

"Since the day we were born, our parents had dreams for us. While Father wanted us to go into Business, Mother wanted us to be cultured. As soon as we were old enough to retain significant information, she purchased a fortepiano. We endured lessons for years, hating every second of it. Mother became frustrated because neither of us were musically inclined.

"Father worked at the Bank, so he was always stressing the importance of wages. When we showed no interest in that, Father also became frustrated. He finally left us be! It was glorious. My brother and I were free to focus on our studies. We always received high marks and congratulated each other. We were never competitive. There was no point. Our faults and strengths balanced each other perfectly."

Basil stopped talking as we pulled into my driveway. He was at my door, holding it open for me before I even stopped the engine.

Once he helped me from the truck, his eyes darted around the yard. "There's a strange scent all around this house."

"What is it?"

"I'm not sure but it smells like a wet dog."

Maybe that's the way the werewolves smelled to him. They were the only thing I could think of that even seemed remotely like a dog.

"Um, that's part of my story."

He looked at me for a moment and I thought he would say something but he silently followed me into the house. I ushered him inside and offered him a seat on the couch. He politely complimented the _parlor _and continued his story. I could tell we were getting to a part of the story he didn't like.

"One evening, my brother went out for a walk. As the hours past, I grew wary. Something was wrong, I just knew it. Without another thought, I left the house to search for him. It seemed as if I were walking for years. When I still didn't find him, I became desperate. I started searching the woods, looking for anything, everything. I started to pray. After years of going to the Church, I knew several prayers by memory. So I prayed and walked and searched. In my frantic state, I almost missed her. She was standing next to an over-grown bush. She was so beautiful. Too beautiful. She must have been a goddess or an angel."

He laughed bitterly.

"I thought she was an apparition sent from God! I fell to my knees, crawled to her feet and begged her to help me find my brother. I thought she could save him!

"She told me to follow her and I did. I followed her so deep into the woods that I could no longer see the night sky. I don't know how long we walked. I don't know how long I followed her with absolute trust. But I knew we were getting closer to him. I felt it. And then, I finally saw him, lying there.

"He looked…" Basil stopped and shuddered. "Mangled. You don't know how strange it is. To see someone you know as well as yourself, covered in blood and bent in an odd angle. Of course we'd seen each other hurt over the years, scrapes and what not. But to see him hurt that way, deliberately, was something unimaginable. I looked towards the woman for help but she just watched me with a hauntingly beautiful expression. Before I could even blink she had me to my knees. She latched on to my neck and began drinking. At first there was no pain but as I faded into unconsciousness, the pain quickly followed me.

"When I awoke, my brother was there watching me. Alive! He looked better than ever, actually. Before either of us could speak, we grew distracted by a smell. At the time, I didn't even know what we were chasing. I just knew it was alive. I could hear its heart beat. I could sense the life flowing through its veins. Once we finished feeding, we looked at the mangled bodies by our feet. There were no words said as we stared at each other in horror, wondering what we had become."

"I have excellent timing. You haven't even gotten to the interesting part yet." I yelped as the new voice came from the corner of the room. Before I could even comprehend anything, Basil was off the couch standing in front of me protectively.

"What in hell are you doing here?" Basil hissed.

"Tsk tsk, brother. There's a lady present. You wouldn't want to offend her with foul language would you?" His voice wasn't quite as deep as Basil's, but it was just as melodic. I peeked around Basil's back so I could look at the speaker.

He was Basil's mirror image. His lips were thinner, nose broader and jaw softer but it didn't stop him looking exactly like his brother. His silver-blonde hair was the same length as Basil's. I looked up and saw his amber eyes staring right at me.

Basil's jaw clenched audibly. "Bella, please accept my apologies. I didn't think he would follow me here."

I remained quiet as I looked at the similarities between the two men. The blonde took in my confused expression and began smiling blandly.

"You're being rude, brother. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Byron Alexander Masters."

He possessed Basil's charm and good looks, but something in his eyes were off. They held a certain sadness and some other type of emotion I couldn't place.

"It's getting late, we shall take our leave," Basil said formally.

"Do not speak for me." Byron's eyes held a furious glint, and I wanted to diffuse the situation.

"It was nice meeting you, Byron," I mumbled. Byron's eyes snapped to mine and narrowed.

"Perhaps I have overstayed my welcome."

"That's difficult to do seeing as how you weren't invited," Basil stated. I could feel the tension in the air again.

"Basil, I'll talk to you soon?"

He removed his eyes from his brother and looked at me again. "I've already programmed my number into your mobile."

"When?"

"You can be extremely unobservant." He actually smiled a little.

I tried to smile back, but how could I? I didn't want to feel the pain of Basil's departure. Basil looked at me sadly. He obviously understood my predicament.

Basil walked and stood directly in front of me. I had to crane my neck to look at him. "We'll talk soon, yes?"

I nodded weakly.

He stepped back and stood next to his brother. They both bowed slightly and were gone. I sat down on the couch and willed my sluggish mind to comprehend this evening. Basil described his brother as his best friend but now they were obviously not on good terms. The tension between them was palpable. What went wrong between them?

My cell phone rang and I saw Jake's number on the screen.

"Hello?"

"_Bella, hey_." He sounded tired.

"Hey, Jake. You don't sound good. Everything okay?"

"_Everything's fine. What's up? I got your message. What are you worried about_?"

"The missing hikers, you know what's really happening, don't you?"

He sighed. "_Bella, don't worry about things you can't control_."

"Jacob! How could I not worry about you? Do you have a death wish? Do you know how dangerous vampires can be?"

"_It's what we're made for_." He didn't sound like my friend anymore. He voice sounded cold and aged.

"Please, don't try to fight them."

"_Don't be stupid, Bella. You're worrying over nothing. You haven't seen how fast we can be_."

"Just please, please, be careful."

"_Sure, sure_." He laughed a little then paused. "_What? What's he talking about_?"

"Jacob, what is it?"

"_Hold on, Bella_!" I could tell he covered the mouthpiece of the phone, but I could still make out a few words. "_At her_ house_?_ _When?_"

There was more shouting and then he came back on the phone. "_Bells_?" he asked with forced cheerfulness.

"Everything okay?"

"_I'm coming over_."

"_Now?_ Why? It's late."

"_Stay right where you are! I'll be there in a few minutes_."

The line went dead. I stared at the phone blankly. _What happened to upset him so much?_ I went to the kitchen so I could make Charlie a couple of sandwiches to eat, whenever he got home. I felt something wet on my face and realized I was crying. My body must have been feeling Basil's absence. I tried to keep my mind off of him but the heaviness in my chest started to get worse. I grabbed a bottle of water and gulped it down. After a moment of breathing, my heart rate returned to normal. The ache didn't leave but at least I wouldn't pass out. After I wrapped up Charlie's sandwiches, there was a pounding at the door.

I opened the door to a trembling Jacob. His nostrils were flared and he was looking all around. "Bella, come on, we have to go."

"What are you talking about?"

"We don't have time for this! Let's go now!" He began shaking harder.

"Not until you tell me what's going on!"

"You're not safe! I can smell leeches all over the place! In front of your house, _in _your house! Everywhere! Now let's go!"

Jacob took a step towards me when I was suddenly pulled back.

"I wouldn't do that, dog." Ava clutched my arm tightly as she looked at Jacob with an icy expression.

Chapter End Notes:

I gave you all a longer chapter to make up for my absence. Thank you for sticking with me.

I want to address a couple of common themes of my reviews.

1. It's taking Bella forever to tell the story.

I guess this is somewhat true. I'm sorry if you all are frustrated with the speed that her story is told. I'm not doing it to be mean. I just want you all to actually care about her past. I find it hard to really see what she's been through if I condensed it to a couple of chapters. I hope you all will still stick with me though.

2. What will the relationship be like between Basil/Bella? (i.e Is she intimate with him? etc...)

For all the die hard Edward/Bella fans out there don't worry. Bella and Basil are in no way related so they will not have some sort of family love. BUT, they will not have an intimate relationship. I don't know if this angers or pleases most of you, hopefully it pleases:)

3. Update schedule

I know, I know. I'm horrible at updating quickly. It's not because I don't want to, it's just real life stuff. I'm finishing up summer school and now I'm starting my last semester of undergrad. I wish I could multitask like other authors out there, but I'm afraid I can't. The good news is I'm doing great in my Finance class!

Sorry for the looong note.

As always, I'd love to hear what you think:)


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